Does your business feel like an obligation?

Remember when you started your business, how you imagined your days would be filled with creative, joyful activities that would inspire you every day? And you would revel in the freedom to choose what to work on whenever you wanted to do it?

Then why is it that so many of my coaching clients talk to me about things they “have to” get done? (“I really have to get that proposal out.” “I have to work on my website.” “I have to do billing.”)

If it’s not what they “have to” work on, it’s what they “should” be working on. (“I should be making sales calls.” “I should be posting on social media more.” “I should be working on my new program.”)

Hmmm. Doesn’t sound very inspiring or joyful to me.

Saying you “have to” do something is one way of motivating yourself to do something you don’t want to do. As a technique, it works moderately well. But if you do use “have to” or “should” as a way to get yourself out of bed and in action, you’re going to be left with a sense of obligation and drudgery.

When we’ve devolved into this “duty, burden, and obligation” way of thinking in our business, it makes us feel stuck, overwhelmed, and uninspired.

To say you “have to” do something implies no choice. But we do have a choice. We could (and often do) choose not to do it. And, you COULD choose to go and get a job (or never quit the one you’re in.) But most entrepreneurs would rather stick needles in their eyes.

To reframe this way of thinking, work on catching yourself when you say “I have to” or “I should.” Instead, say “I choose to” or “I choose not to.” (“I choose to work on my billing.” “I choose not to post on social media.”) Owning this choice is infinitely more empowering.

Maintaining a proactive perspective is half the battle. I’ve created a quiz that can help you revitalize your mindset by providing insights into your unique strengths and areas for growth as the “CEO” of your business! It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Click here to take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today!

How I nearly became a certified imposter

Before I became a business coach, I spent many years teaching people how to use computers.

One of my early clients was an investment firm. Math had never been my strong suit, and I was always vaguely intimidated by those confident bankers who made tough decisions about someone else’s finances.

I vividly remember one Excel training where one of those men was in attendance. While I did know Excel pretty well, I wasn’t a “certified” MS Office instructor. In fact, I was completely self-taught.

My worst fear was always that the participants of a training would walk away without learning anything. I was sure they would think they had wasted their money, or worse, fire me from the gig.

In short, I had a classic case of Imposter Syndrome.

Sure enough, this fellow wanted to know how to amortize a mortgage. Frankly, I didn’t even know what that meant, much less how to do it in Excel.

In this case, I had no option but to figure it out on the spot.

I thought, “I don’t know the answer to his question, but I know where to start.” I pointed out the “Fx” function button, where all the mathematical functions live in Excel. Then I watched in silent relief while he figured out the rest of it by himself.

That experience always stands out to me whenever imposter syndrome sets in for one of my clients just starting out in business. It’s extremely common to think, “What do I know, and why should I be able to charge actual money for what I’m claiming I do know?” Turns out, you know a lot more than you think. For one thing, you know where to start.

The “Imposter” is one of the critical voices common to all of us, regardless of level of experience. We can never fully escape it (“new level, new devil!”). In my “Mindset Reset” training for entrepreneurs, I delve about critical voices to envision the voice of the “Imposter” as a separate, scared “committee” member who just wants to keep you safe.

The entire course has 8 modules, and other topics include Transforming Fear into Positive Action, The Myth of Failure and Mistakes, Overcoming Self-Doubt, Breaking the Bonds of Procrastination, and more. If you are interested in watching the full training, you can find it here.

No more self doubt: how to silence your inner critics

This week I got a question from a client that really resonated with me:

“I have no shortage of ideas or inspiration but I find I’m still talking myself out of these ideas or finding reasons why I may not be skilled enough or experienced enough or some other reason that makes me doubt myself. I wish I could just turn off my self-doubting thoughts and just have an unwavering confidence about everything I do.”

Sound familiar?

Starting something new feels very vulnerable, so we are particularly susceptible to doubtful thoughts. Because we’re uncertain about the approach to take and have no evidence to show the new idea will work, we interact with those doubtful thoughts like they have real authority.

My favorite technique to combat this is to imagine that the voices are actually coming from different personalities on a committee.

If you’ve ever served on a block association or volunteered at your child’s school, you’ll know the types I mean: the naysayer who can’t help but to tell you everything that could go wrong; the judge who has to criticize every aspect of the plan… you get the idea.

Imagining that these voices are actually coming from outside of you allows you to detach from the thought so that it loses power.

Say to yourself, “These thoughts are not the truth. I don’t have to interact with them or convince them they’re wrong.”

Although you could try to come up with other thoughts that are more positive, I don’t recommend focusing on this. Sure, it will make you feel better, but only temporarily. It just ends up being a battle of thoughts.

I created a powerful online course for entrepreneurs called “The Mindset Reset Course.” The second module of this course is all about how to overcome the Critical Voices. 

The entire course has 8 modules, and other topics include Transforming Fear into Positive Action, The Myth of Failure and Mistakes, Overcoming Self-Doubt, Breaking the Bonds of Procrastination, and more. If you are interested in watching the full training, you can find it here.

I wrote this in 2012, and look at me now!

Back in 2012, I was just getting into the bluegrass jamming scene. At that time, I wrote this blog about how, as a singer, I had always wanted to play the guitar, but let minor obstacles like the pain in my fingertips get in the way of getting started.

I ended up playing the ukulele instead, which was a reasonable entry to accompanying myself and playing with others. For the past 10 years I’ve been a “ukulele evangelist,” teaching many people how to play and even creating a course for beginners.

The ukulele is a wonderful instrument (The Beatle’s George Harrison was a big fan), but I did not fulfill my desire to learn how to play the guitar until last year.

I sometimes marvel when I’m playing it just how long it took me to actually get started. As it turns out (and as I noted in the blog), the pain in my fingertips was only the surface reason as to why I didn’t play it.

The real reason was my fear. I let my lack of confidence about acquiring this new skill hold me back from something I wholeheartedly desired.

Well, look at me now!

Last week I attended a bluegrass music camp, and one of the events was “bluegrass karaoke,” where we played with the professional instructors. The moment was captured on video, which you can watch here.

Fear is such an insidious inhibitor. Sometimes we don’t even realize that it’s fear that’s holding us back, because we’re distracted by circumstantial reasons like painful fingertips.

In business, I have countless examples from my clients who were hesitant to start their business or work on a new initiative. In every case, once they got their idea in motion, they created results that were a stepping stone to success.

Music has always been a tremendous joy in my life, and I’m sometimes a bit sad that I didn’t get started playing the guitar much earlier in life. What will you regret later if you never get started on it?

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

The pricing paradox

Very early in my coaching career, I had a sales conversation with a woman I met at a networking event. I’m embarrassed to admit that I gave her a low-ball quote that was half of what other coaches were charging. To “sweeten the pot” (as if it needed sweetening) I threw in a bonus workshop.

My thinking was that I would make it so irresistible to work with me price-wise that she couldn’t refuse.

Except, she did refuse.

We became friendly as we saw each other at other events over the next few years. Eventually she admitted to me that she specifically did not hire me BECAUSE my prices were so low. She reasoned, “How were you going to help me make money, when you’re asking for so little money for yourself?” Yeah, exactly.

I always like to say that I run the “one step ahead” coaching program, meaning, I’m doing all the same work my clients are doing but one step ahead.

If there’s some finagling to do with money, believe me, I’ve done it. I’ve given my coaching and workshops away for free. I’ve traded with other people for services. I’ve underpriced myself. I’ve devalued my programs by giving away too many bonuses.

I charged less than other coaches (by a lot) and resisted raising my prices for fear that people wouldn’t be able to afford them. I let people pay on their own schedule, which in some cases, turned out to be “never.”

Making more money is a primary reason people want to own their own business. Yet many of the entrepreneurs I work with are doing all the same things I used to do, undervaluing their product or service to “get the sale.” Other people (you know who you are) want to raise their rates but procrastinate taking action out of fear.

That fear typically is a concern that they will lose the customer or that they are asking “too much.” However, I’ve seen time and again that my client’s customers not only stay, but are OK with the price hike and pay it.

If you think you are under charging your services, I recommend you engage in an open dialog with your customer about it. If nothing else, it will give you practice in asking for what you want.

One of my clients did this recently and raised the amount of money he gets per month by $200. While that total ended up lower than he was hoping for, that’s $2,400 more dollars he’s getting per year than if he hadn’t asked at all.

Feel free to book a call if you’re ready to take some action and would like some coaching on the best approach. I’m happy to help!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Birds, Words, and Entrepreneurship

One of the joys of my financial abundance as an entrepreneur is owning a country home in the Catskills. Its best feature is a screened-in back porch where I sleep on warmer nights. I love that it’s completely silent except for the gurgling of our nearby stream.

That all changes at around 5:00 AM when the air is filled with the sounds of birds chirping. I’m not so much of an early riser as I am a lousy sleeper, so when it starts up, I’m awake. (This could be very enjoyable or very annoying, depending on how late I was up the night before.)

My sister Jennifer recently showed me a super cool app called Merlin. It will listen to the birdsong and identify which birds are chirping. When I turned it on this past weekend I discovered that those indiscriminate chirping sounds were coming from 18 different types of birds.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just surrounded by random birds that sounded alike. Now the trees were alive with birds with distinctive colors, sizes, and sounds. Knowing this changed my whole listening experience.

Very often, our journey as an entrepreneur is filled with “noise” that can seem indiscriminate. As a coach, my job is to help you to make distinctions that sift through that noise.

One of the tools I use to do this is word substitution. When I hear my clients repeatedly describing their experience using the same word, such as “overwhelmed” or “stressed” or “bored,” I will say, “If you couldn’t use that word, what other words would you use?”

This is an excellent way to get to the heart of the situation and begin to reframe it.

For instance, I was speaking to someone who said that she felt “discouraged.” She substituted it with “disappointment.” “Discouragement” has an “everything’s going against me” kind of a feel, whereas “disappointment” is an acknowledgement of the current situation, allowing us to pinpoint actions she could take to create the results she wanted.

I’m oversimplifying it here for the sake of brevity, of course. But this is an exercise you can do at any time. Once you hear yourself frequently repeating words to describe your situation, ask yourself, “What other words could I use instead?” “Procrastination” can become “avoidance;” “stuck” can become “uncertain,” etc.

Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.

The first bird to begin chirping is typically the Veery, and its call is a distinctive sound that descends in a spiral. I never even knew this bird existed before! Nor did I know about the Red-eyed Vireo, the Northern Flicker, or the Least Flycatcher. It’s similar to understanding more about your leadership qualities, which you can find by taking my quiz “Are you Wired for Business Success?” Click here to take it now. Just like the birds, once you get to know your qualities, you’ll broaden your perspective.

The Irony Of Success: Effort vs Perception

During the height of the pandemic, many people took on learning new skills, like how to bake sourdough bread or play the guitar. My pandemic lark was to enroll in my local college to get a bachelor’s degree in Music.

I just finished my third class. (I am evidently on the 20 year plan). It was a music fundamentals class that was supposed to be an “easy A” but turned out to be quite challenging. Our grade mostly consisted of handing in homework taken out of our class workbook. I spent upwards of an hour for each assignment, checking and double checking that it was correct. My efforts acheived a perfect 100% on most of the assignments.

Obviously I was pleased with the result, but I also knew how much time and effort I had invested into each assignment. That’s why I was surprised and somewhat taken aback when my professor handed back another 100% paper mid-semester with the comment, “This getting too easy for you?”

This is the irony of doing well in life and business. People can only see the results, not the hard work that went into producing it. And when our own results fall short of what looks easy for others, we fall into the trap of comparison and thinking that we’re not as good, talented, smart, or capable as they are. This thinking is reinforced by the many marketers who claim they can show you how “easy” it will be the produce the results they are promising.

Did you know that Babe Ruth, the wunderkind baseball hero who held the record for the most home-runs, also held the record for the most number of strike-outs? And he played a total of 22 seasons – a truly inspiring investment of time and effort to honing his craft.

Facts: success takes time and effort to apply the skills that you’re learning, especially in the beginning. The amount of time and effort will vary based on a lot of different factors. While I’m happy I got an A+ in the class (something I don’t recall accomplishing when I was in college in my 20s), the real reward is what I learned from the effort, and seeing those efforts pay off.

Don’t be discouraged by others who seem to find things effortless. Their path is different from yours, and each person’s journey has its own challenges and triumphs. Stay focused on your growth and keep pushing forward. You’re doing great. Keep going!

Speaking of business success, have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

The Myth of Easy: Why Harder Can be Better in Business and Life

I suppose I’m just like everyone else. I want everything to be as easy as possible, preferably laid out in one of those “easy step-by-step systems” I’m always hearing about.

But sometimes, harder is better. I was reminded of this when I went in for a checkup at my orthodontist.

I had gotten Invisalign because all the promotions promised it would be easier than braces. But at the appointment, I was told that no matter how long I wore the Invisalign, it would not be able to correct my teeth the way I wanted. The only option was to get metal braces.

The last thing I wanted was to look like a seventh grader like every bad school photo you’ve ever seen.

But facts are facts. If I wanted to finish the job I had started, I had to go the harder route.

As usual, I couldn’t help but to relate this to being an entrepreneur. Because if there’s one common theme for all entrepreneurs, it’s that it can be very hard.

Which is why all the marketers entice us with their golden promises of making it easy for us. I mean, just look at all those testimonials of people who made 6 figures in 60 days! (This is why I’ve taken so many marketing programs. Yes, I fall for it too.)

The problem with thinking that everything should be easy all the time is that when it’s hard, you end up thinking there’s something wrong with you. Like you’re doing it wrong, or you’re not good enough, or you don’t know enough, or you should spend more money on another online course. (Yes, I’ve done that too.)

But maybe it’s just harder, and has nothing to do with you.

The good news is that “harder” can be an effective way to get you there. While I am not thrilled to be wearing metal in my mouth right now, the orthodontist reassured me that I would be complete with my treatment within three months.

Why? Because harder can also be faster and more effective. (Like picking up the phone to sell directly to someone rather than passively posting on IG and wondering why you don’t have more clients. Just sayin’)

Ironically, now that I’ve been wearing them, I’m realizing it’s really not that hard! I’ve already gotten used to them, and I can clearly see the progress.

If I seem to be contradicting myself here, my point is that seeking out the easier way doesn’t always mean it will be easier. The most important thing is to keep going. Because eventually, it works. 

Are there adjustments to be made along the way? Of course. But as the saying goes, failure only really happens when you quit.

I understand that “hard” is one thing, but “alone and hard” is a whole different ballgame. Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Chat GPT edited my son’s resume, and even he was impressed

Like many people, I’ve been caught up in the recent AI wave.

It was just a couple of months ago that I was introduced to the technology, but it has been a game changer for me. I’ve used it to help me with everything from questions for my quiz lead magnet to helping my soon-to-graduate-from-college son edit his resume. (Even he grudgingly admitted the result was better.)

If you haven’t already tried it, I recommend you head over to https://chat.openai.com/  and set up an account. Here are some tips for how to get the most out of it:

Be specific in your requests
I used ChatGPT to help me brainstorm names for the entrepreneur styles that will be part of my upcoming quiz lead magnet. The styles are: Promoter, Supporter, Analyzer, and Controller.

At first, the responses didn’t have any theme or cleverness even though they were accurate: “Supporter” became “Ally.” Then I asked it to give me humorous names. I got “High-Five Hero” and “Chief Encouragement Officer.” Now we were on to something. I asked it to give me names for each type playing off the “CEO” theme, and it delivered:  Promoter became “Chief Enthusiasm Officer,” Supporter became “Chief Empowerment Officer,” Analyst became “Chief Expert Officer,” and Controller became “Chief Excellence Officer.”

Use it to edit content you have already written
AI text can sound pretty generic if you just give it a command like “Write a blog post about the benefits of using CRM.” Sure, the information will flow well and it will actually come up with some good benefits, but you’ll feel like you’re reading a lifeless, watered down version of a solution to a real business problem. The content will be much better if you write out your ideas first, and then ask ChapGPT to fill in the details.

I have also found that it’s an excellent editor when I’m struggling to come up with a way to make a sentence clearer. Witness: I asked it to make that sentence clearer and it wrote: “I have discovered that it is an excellent tool for editing when I am having difficulty making a sentence more clear.” Moderately better. When I asked it to make it more clever it came up with “Not only does it serve as an exceptional editor, but it also comes in handy when I’m grappling with the challenge of sharpening a sentence’s clarity.” (In the words of Ronald Weasley, “Overkill, mate.”)

Try multiple times multiple ways
You can ask it to deliver the text in a specific voice, like “sassy” or “lighthearted” or even “in the style of a NYC comedian.”  I’ve literally laughed out loud at some of the responses. The best part? You can keep getting more and more specific and it will keep spitting them out.

(Weird side note – at first I found myself reluctant to keep asking it to generate new responses. Because it mimics how humans communicate, I was interacting with it like it WAS a human. I had to remind myself it was a machine that was designed to continually spit out information.)

Save the responses in a different document to save it
Technically ChatGPT will save your previous chats but the software is still in beta mode, so no guarantees. I create a draft document and dump all my questions and answers into it while I’m chatting. That way I can go back to see the progression and revisit what I liked previously.

Don’t completely trust it
The downside of AI? The text can be fairly generic sounding. And worse than that, it can be flat out inaccurate. Consider this: I asked AI to give me inspirational quotes. It did – and all of them were men. So, I got more specific. Give me 20 inspirational quotes by women. Here’s a sampling of what I got:

1. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill, quoted by Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors

2. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs, quoted by Oprah Winfrey, media executive, and TV host

Of the 20 quotes, 8 of them were actually men. When I informed ChatGPT that Winston Churchill was actually a man, it apologized (literally) and gave me 20 more – many of which were also men. (PS to this – ya gotta assume that Oprah Winfrey has a few quotes of her own??)

The majority of my experience has been very positive, especially when I need ideas or a copy editor. And if it helps my son Julian land a job, we’ll all be better off!

Using a tool like AI can be very helpful to alleviate some of the frustrations you have in your business around copywriting, but it’s just one piece of the larger puzzle of running your business. Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

My identity thief’s surprise pizza party

Imagine my surprise last week when I got a letter in the mail from a bank congratulating me on my new 2020 Infiniti. Because I hadn’t bought a car.

Yes, someone stole my identity to actually purchase a car and drive away from the car lot, using my credit.

Let’s skip past the incredible shortsightedness someone must have to think that I wouldn’t notice after they gave my full contact information to the bank. Huh?

After many days of painstaking research and calls to creditors, I now know the name, phone number, and even the exact address of the person in Staten Island who did it. Then I compiled all the information and took it to my local precinct. At the end of my interview with the detective, she told me they would put the papers in a file and keep it as evidence in case the perpetrator’s name ever came up in a “real” crime.

And that was it.

Disgruntled, I ruminated on what else I could do, including the following scenarios:

• • Gather up dog poop from the street and mail it to him. Pro: untraceable. Con: I would have to actually gather up dog poop and mail it.

• • Go onto USPS.com and forward his mail to the local S.I. police station. Pro: Police would have to go to his house to give it back to him. Imagine the scene! Con: That would be a federal offense. Oops.

• • Order pizza to be delivered to his house, to be paid in cash. Make it double anchovy/onion/green pepper with extra hot sauce. Do this once a week forever. Pro: Revenge. Con: Is there one? Just kidding. I wouldn’t do that to the pizza place.

The more time I spent thinking about it, the more I realized: there’s an even bigger con to all these scenarios: the diminishing return on investment of my energy expended to get revenge.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m seriously pissed. But I also have to ask myself, how much is it helping me to be pissed? Is it helping me to stay focused on the projects I’ve said are a priority for me, like my lead magnet? Is it helping my clients get more business? Will I have more peace and joy in my life?

That would be a resounding “No.”

As entrepreneurs, we are constantly in situations where crappy things could happen. If I wanted to, I could spend a lot of time disgruntled, upset, and focused on how things aren’t working. Recouping from such disturbing situations isn’t always easy. It’s understandable – and even OK – to feel that way – for a time. At a certain point, though, it’s time to refocus on what I can do now to move my business forward. It helps me to talk it over with my coach and other supportive neutral people like my amazing weekly writing group. (And this is exactly what I do for my clients as well.)

After all, there are a lot better things I can be doing than walking around my neighborhood picking up dog poop.

Focusing on positive actions rather than being consumed by negative emotions is important, but it can be challenging. Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

The power of completion: Mastering the skill of finishing what you start

It’s time to fess up… what projects did you absolutely say you were going to work on that most definitely did not get completed?

One of my priorities was creating a new lead magnet that would help me grow my email list. Creating this essential piece of content is a must for generating new leads. Yet I closed out the year without completing it.

What’s up with that? How could I let a whole year go by and not finish something that’s so impactful to my business?

You may have similar items on your list:

• Maybe it’s a half-finished project like a houseplant that has just started to wither, but will inevitably die without water.

• Maybe it’s an idea you had at the beginning of the year that turned into an unmanageable project, or had a challenge you weren’t expecting that got you stuck. 

• Maybe it’s something that’s 98% done but you know that once you finish it, you’ll have to actually make it public – and therefore subject it to the judgment of others.

• It could even be something that you know will directly impact the success of your business, like my unfinished lead magnet.

After more than 25 years of working with clients and observing my own behavior, I have noticed that there are four “reasons” people give to justify incomplete projects. Although these reasons may seem real, they can hide the actual things that stop us from making progress.

Reason #1. You don’t have enough time/you’re too busy/you’re overcommitted

What’s really happening:  You’re managing time instead of priorities.

In business and in life, we’re always doing one of three things: a) nothing, b) something less important or c) something more important. Most of our “lost” time happens because we’re stuck in “b) something less important.” 

If you asked yourself “Is this more important or less important for me to do right now?” before starting any project or task, you would probably discover that there are more significant tasks to focus on at the moment.

Reason # 2. You don’t have the ability or knowledge

What’s really happening: You’re solving future problems, being a perfectionist, or stuck in indecision.

You can get overwhelmed if you look ahead and realize you don’t know all the actions to take. I call it “solving a future problem.” You cannot solve a future problem, because it’s in the future! So, we’re wasting time and energy on solving something that’s unsolvable.

Perfectionists are particularly prone to this because they are already thinking ahead about how they want to do it perfectly, which evolves into getting stuck in indecision about the best actions to take. In reality? Any action is better than no action, and you can always adjust along the way.

Reason #3. You don’t have the commitment, stamina, or focus to see it through

What’s really happening: You’re dealing with interruptions, stuck in the messy middle, or without a clear plan or deadline.

Starting new projects is lots of fun. The ideas are fresh and the work seems effortless. In a perfect world, we just keep working on it uninterrupted and without any obstacles popping up. 

In the world we actually live in, interruptions are constantly happening, and obstacles arise when decisions need to be made or the work gets boring (like figuring out the tech part of starting a podcast, or needing an editor to polish off a book.) 

Meanwhile, what we love about being entrepreneurs is that WE get to set the schedule of when we work on projects, except that without a plan or a deadline, we often DON’T work on them. (This is why coaches are so effective. But you knew I was going to say that.) 

Reason # 4. You don’t think your finished product will be good enough (or be too good)

What’s really happening: You have a fear of judgement, wasted effort, or even too much success.

I once read a quote, “People don’t want to have their ability judged, they’d rather have their effort judged.” And that makes not completing a project very convenient.  Because you can always say you’re working on it, and then never have to actually finish it and open it to the judgement of others.

We also hate working on things if we don’t know for sure ahead of time that they’re going to work out. It’s ingrained in us to not waste time. What if we do a whole bunch of work on something only to find out it didn’t produce the results we wanted?

And sometimes it’s not failure, but success that has us avoid completing a task or project. Do too good of a job the first time and you might be setting yourself up with impossible standards for the future. Many of us (despite our claims to the opposite) actually have a hard time acknowledging, accepting and receiving the experience that success brings to us, because we’re so used to being in the struggle.

Don’t let the four “reasons” of why we don’t complete projects hold you back. Remember, managing priorities, taking imperfect action, creating a plan and deadline, and embracing the fear of judgment or success can help you move forward. By acknowledging these common obstacles and understanding what’s really happening, you can take the necessary steps to finally finish those projects and move your business forward!

It’s a common challenge for all entrepreneurs to struggle with completing projects. Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

What Time Management Guru David Allen Got Wrong

David Allen is a well-respected time management guru and his book “Getting Things Done” has set the standard for professionals for over 15 years. 

When I read it in the early days of my business, I applied his principles with much success. 

I still follow his recommendation of doing a “brain dump” when I’m feeling unfocused and overwhelmed. He recommends writing down EVERYTHING on your mind, no matter how big or small, so that you can relieve your brain clutter and get it down on paper. 

How Do You Know if You Are Being Productive?

My coaching clients often ask me, “How can I be more productive?”

My question in reply: “How do you know that you’re NOT productive?” 

Most people will say “I feel unfocused or scattered,” or “I work all day and I don’t feel like I’m making progress,” or “It feels like things take so long to get done.”

However, just because you feel productive, doesn’t mean you are productive; and just because you don’t feel productive doesn’t mean you aren’t productive.

How Long Should You Follow Up with Prospects? (How About 10 Years?)

Yesterday someone signed up for a business strategy session using my online scheduler. Her name sounded familiar and she answered the qualifier, “How did you hear about me?” with “I’m on your email list.” When I looked her up, I saw that she has been on my list since 2012.
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That’s right, my friend. She has been on my email list for 10 years and I’m only just hearing from her now.

A surefire way to get more money

I have a policy: I always say yes when someone offers me money.

Like yesterday, when my friend and I ordered a food delivery. She said, “I’d like to treat.” Instead of insisting that I pay half, I said, “Ok, I receive that graciously and gratefully!” I trust that she is offering it with a generous heart, and I am happy to receive that.

How Giving Can Go Wrong – and Hurt Your Business

When I talk about the Three Keys to an Abundant Business (Ask Powerfully, Give Wholeheartedly, and Receive Graciously), people always assume that “giving” is the most joyous part.

After all, haven’t we heard our whole lives about how good we will feel when we give? Consider these quotes from famous people who seem to know what they’re talking about:

“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.” ?H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away.” —Dorothy Day
“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” —Booker T. Washington

Awww! Sounds like a golden egg, doesn’t it? Just give and a wonderful life awaits.

Don’t fall for that best year ever stuff

In the last couple weeks, my inbox has been inundated with emails entreating me to have my Best. Year. Ever!!

​Instead of inspiring me, these emails stress me out. As one of my clients said, “Why does 2022 have to compete with 2021?”

The year I turned 21 was pretty great. That’s the year that I traveled all around the world as a photographer. The year I got married, and the years when I had each of my two children, were pretty awesome too.

Follow up no matter how busy you are!

Entrepreneurs often feel stuck when they don’t have enough business.  But there are times when the opposite is true and they have so much business that it seems like there’s no time  – or need – to follow up with prospects.  

Don’t fall into this trap! Just because you’re busy now, doesn’t mean you’ll be busy in two weeks or two months from now. 

Watch this quick 3-minute video about why it’s important to continue to follow up with your prospects, no matter what!

“Following up” with prospects, especially the ones who aren’t ready to take action, can look a lot of different ways.  Watch the video for an easy suggestion.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Money is like a dog

Have you ever owned a dog?

I have. Dogs need a lot of attention. Not only do they require regular feeding, but they have to be walked, picked up after, and given love.  And the thing about dogs is, if you don’t pay attention to them, they let you know it. This is precisely why I don’t have one.

Cats are a different story.  They still require feeding, and many are very affectionate, but you don’t have to walk them, and worst case scenario, you can fill up their bowl with food and leave them alone for the day.

I also have a couple house plants, and those require the least amount of attention of all.  As long as I water my Christmas cactus two or three times a month, I can keep it alive and it will faithfully produce flowers once a year.

In your business, do you treat money like it’s a dog, a cat, or a houseplant? Too often I speak to people about their money woes, only to find out that they haven’t really been giving their money the loving attention it wants. They don’t have a strategic spending plan (otherwise known as a budget), they don’t know how much is in their bank accounts, and they end up leaving a lot of money on the table by not following up with prospects. The irony being, of course, that most people are in business because they want the joy of money freedom.

If you think of your money like it’s a dog, and give it loving attention, I promise you will have a lot more of it. Where in your business have you been treating money like a cat, or worse, a house plant?  Add a comment and let me know.

Even a houseplant will die if you never water it.  Give your money the loving attention it wants. Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

If you want more money, don’t do this.

I recently attended one of those online networking meetings where they have specific questions for attendees to answer. One of the questions they asked was, “What are you looking for that we might be able to help you with?” 

Since I frequently work with newer entrepreneurs, I said, “I would love an introduction to anyone who is looking to launch and grow an abundant business.” To which the moderator replied, “We all know someone who wants to start a business, but usually they’re struggling and don’t have the money to invest in coaching.”

Making assumptions about how much money people have and what they’re willing to spend is one of the biggest mistakes entrepreneurs can make, but we do it all the time.  This often results in stopping short of actually asking for the sale, or lowering the price to try to “help” them.

If someone wants to buy your product but says they don’t have the money, say “Great! Tell me why you want to buy it.” That will redirect the conversation to the value that your service provides. Engaging in their money conversation will just reinforce their scarcity conversation. 

What I have noticed is that people will spend money (sometimes a lot!) on all kinds of things, if they want it and value it. Making sure that you are providing a desirable solution to a problem they have is the best way to get around a money conversation. If it is, they will figure out how to get the money. 

There are so many ways that we harm ourselves when it comes to money in our business.  That’s why I decided to host a Money Accelerator Masterclass for our community on Wednesday, June 9, from 1:00 – 3:00 PM EST.

During this interactive live masterclass, I will reveal the six most common beliefs about money that are completely wrong – and how they’re impacting your ability to generate revenue for your business. I’ll show you one simple thing you can do to shift your scarcity mindset forever, so that you can start generating more money in your business right away.

The Money Accelerator Masterclass is free (and if that seems like a contradiction, I’ll explain more about that during the training) and is geared towards entrepreneurs who feel stuck getting to the next level of income. You can register here.

Then and now – learning how to shear a sheep

 

When I was growing up on the farm with my mom and two sisters, if we wanted to learn something about how to run a profitable farm, we drove to a library, took out a book, read it, and then returned it in two weeks.

The only other way for my mom to get help with farming was a government agency called the Cooperative Extension Agency. Our local agent’s name was Bill Kelly. True story: after it became too expensive to hire someone to shear our 300 sheep every spring, my mother decided to learn how to do it herself. So she called up Mr. Kelly, whose job it was to teach such things to the farmers, and asked him to come down to show her how.

Are you leaving money on the table?

How many times do you follow up with someone after a sales conversation if they don’t buy on the first call?

1. I never stop following up.
2. I follow up six to ten times.
3. I follow up three to five times.
4. I reach out once or twice and wait to hear back.

It’s supposed to be hard.

Have you ever seen that movie A League of Their Own? The story is based on a real women’s baseball league that was created in 1943 after the men went to fight in World War II. It’s an all-star cast that includes Geena Davis as Dottie, the most skilled player, and Tom Hanks as Jimmy, the team manager.

The worst four-letter word

If you’ve hung around me for any length of time, you know that I am no stranger to cursing.

In fact, one of my favorite stories to share about my son Julian is when he was 4 years old.  He got up out of bed, looked out the window, and then said, “Sh*t. It’s raining.”  The apple clearly does not fall far from the tree.

Frustrated by slow progress? Here’s what it means.

I’ve heard from three separate people this week how frustrated they are by their lack of progress in their business. One said that he felt like he had accomplishments, but nothing was “popping.” Another said that she was moving some things along but pushing other priorities aside. And yet another said she was disappointed because she thought her efforts should have paid off by now.

Please don’t do this…

Are you on Clubhouse yet? (if you’re not and you want to be, let me know and I’ll send you an invite).

I’ve been enjoying getting to know people on there and have listened in to some great talks from experts all over the world.

Have you made these money mistakes?

Very early in my coaching career, I had a sales conversation with a woman I had met at a networking event. I’m embarrassed to admit that I gave her a low-ball quote that was half of what other coaches were charging.  To “sweeten the pot” (as if it needed sweetening) I threw in a bonus workshop.  My thinking was that I would make it so irresistible to work with me price-wise that she couldn’t refuse.  

Except, she did refuse.  

We became friendly as we saw each other at events over the next few years.  Eventually she admitted to me that she specifically did not hire me BECAUSE my prices were so low.  She reasoned, “How were you going to help me make money, when you’re asking for so little money for yourself?” Yeah, exactly.

To be a winner, get good at losing

I heard a song for the first time called “Learn to Lose” by Bakermat. (Looking it up on YouTube I see it has 10 million views, so clearly I’m a bit out of the loop.)

These lyrics in particular jumped out at me:

… it’s not how you get knocked down
It’s how you get back up
Don’t play safe
It’s how you break that makes you strong enough
Set fire to your soul
Go hard or go home
If you wanna be a winner
You gonna learn to lose …

3 reasons your goals might fail

At the start of a new year, we all come down from our holiday sugar high and say “Ok, I’m ready to get this year on track.” Then we make a lengthy list of all the ways we plan to make this year be the Best. Year. EVERRRRR!!!!!!

And then, along comes life.

For most of us, it doesn’t take long.  Two to three weeks after making these deep and heartfelt commitments we feel our enthusiasm start to wane.  It’s harder than we thought it would be, or we forget why it was so important to make the commitment in the first place.

If this has happened to you, I’m here to tell you you’re not alone.  Only 8% of people who set resolutions ever complete them fully.  There are good reasons that your goals might fail:

About that to-do list…

Hi,

Just about everyone I know has an ongoing and never-ending to-do list. Typically the tasks get rolled over from one day to the next, and although some completed tasks drop off, new tasks are always piling on.

There never seems to be enough time in a day to cross everything off. It’s hard to feel accomplished when there’s always so much left undone.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: “Why am I even doing this task? Will it take me towards the realization of my dreams? Am I just trying to get things done, or am I doing great things?”

The problem is that to-do lists are usually created in a vacuum, without the guidance of a bigger vision. That’s because most people don’t even know what their vision is!

And I don’t mean the vague “make lots of money and have a thriving business” kind of vision. I mean a detailed, specific, meaningful vision, with a plan to along with it.

If you don’t have a clear vision for your business, you’ll end the year wondering why you didn’t achieve the success you want. Then a new year will come and you’ll start all over again.

Ugh.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Here’s why you feel overwhelmed – and what to do about it

Hi,

It’s one of the most common complaints I hear from my clients, especially at this time of year: “I’m overwhelmed. Help!”

I’ve been hearing it so much that I decided to record a 9-minute mini-training about why you feel overwhelmed and what you can do about it. You can watch it here

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Want more abundance? Be grateful for this…

Many of us have a tradition of sharing what we’re grateful for around the Thanksgiving table. It’s a time when we acknowledge the bounty of what we have – the people we love, our health, our homes, and the food we’re about to share. Usually when we express our gratitude, we are focusing on what we already have. But you know what? You don’t actually need to have anything to be grateful. Yep, you can just sit still for a moment, close your eyes, and experience gratitude without any pre-conditions. Which means that you can also be grateful for what you don’t have yet. This is easier than it sounds. Just think about what you want, and imagine that it is on its way to you now. How will you feel when it arrives? Connect with that experience, and be grateful for that By being grateful for what you don’t have yet, you shift your perspective from scarcity (I don’t have it yet) to abundance (I trust it is on its way to me and I’m ready to receive it!). This is a powerful technique that you can practice at any time to draw more abundance into your life. This year, I’m grateful for the work that we do together in our community of entrepreneurs, and I am grateful for the hundreds of people who are on their way to joining us! Wishing you a joyful, abundant and safe Thanksgiving. I’m especially grateful this year for the Entrepreneur Accelerator Community Call that we’ve been having every other Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST. They’re free and open to anyone who wants coaching in a supportive community. Join us for the next call!  Would you benefit from being part of a supportive community of entrepreneurs?  Register for the FREE Entrepreneur Accelerator live group coaching call now. Happening every other Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST

Stuck on sales? Go make an apple pie!

On the farm where I grew up in western PA, we had two large Macintosh apple trees just to the side of the house.

Every year these trees would bloom and then produce prolific amounts of apples, which would fall and scatter over the ground. While some of them were bruised and cracked, others were practically pristine. It was easy to quickly gather a basketful of the fallen fruit. I could also snag the fruit from the low hanging branches.

I stood at our round kitchen table as a young teenager while my mother showed me how to make apple pie (see recipe below). We would peel and slice the apples, spice them up, make and roll out the pie crust, and put it all together with a crumb topping. Later that pie would get bubbly and brown in the oven, and be devoured by all of us sitting around that same table.

You have this, but do you use it?

Alice Walker said, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

This quote was on my mind this morning for obvious reasons – today is, after all, Election Day.

As a young adult, I didn’t understand my power. I thought that because I didn’t really understand politics, that I wasn’t entitled to express my opinion. That was for older, more experienced and more educated people. So I didn’t vote in any elections until my late 20s.

I had a similar experience in business when I started out. Other “experts” seemed more worthy of success, and I reasoned that until I had more experience, I couldn’t claim that power.

Vision or Fantasy?

When I start coaching new clients, the first thing we do together is a process called a Vision Roadmap. Through this process, we create a clear, vibrant, powerful vision for their business so that we know what to focus on in our sessions together.

One of the questions I ask is how much money they want to make. Occasionally they’ll say something like “a million dollars a year.”

My logical follow up question is, “How much money are you making now?” One memorable person answered: “Oh, about $20,000.”

Now, is it possible that next year you might make a million dollars starting from $20,000? Yes, I’m sure that somewhere in the world, there are examples of that. But I always take those examples with a grain of salt, because you don’t know what went into creating them. Maybe they ran a $100,000 Facebook ad campaign; maybe somebody lent them money; or maybe they brought in a million dollars, but their expenses were $999,000.

My biggest accomplishment this year

This week I finally stopped procrastinating, and accomplished something I’ve wanted to do all year.

I placed a YouTube ad.

I’ve mentioned before that I spent nearly $1,000 on a YouTube ad training program last November, but never actually ran an ad. Last week I finally sat down with my team and we slogged through it until the ad went live.

It was hard.

Like irritating hard, not challenging hard.

I didn’t know which options to pick, was confused and resistant through most of it, and feared that I would pay money for an ad that wouldn’t work. (Which is probably true because since I launched I’ve gotten exactly one bite.) And it’s not over yet, because in order to be successful, I have to create and test many more ads.

But at least I did that much, which after a year, is a huge accomplishment.

In the end, it was a great reminder of how often we can get “stuck” while running our businesses. It’s confusing, irritating, and frustrating, and it feels like it should be easier than it is. It was also a great reminder of how staying accountable, getting support, and recommitting until the task is complete is key to moving forward.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Seriously, is “anything” really possible?

I took a $10,000 coaching program once that promised to help me create “quantum leap” breakthrough results in my business. They disparaged the idea of incremental success, and instead encouraged us to make grandiose goals that were supposed to empower and inspire us.

I tried to run my business that way for years, putting all my energy into a big project with the expectation that I’d have a big payoff. Unfortunately, more often than not, I’d fall short of my goal and end up feeling quite the opposite of “empowered.”

I had a coaching session with one of my clients recently who told me that she had put intense energy into one project only to see it fall short, and when I asked why she committed to it, she said those fateful words, “Well, anything is possible, right?

It got me thinking, so I created this short video: “Is Anything REALLY Possible?” Check it out see what I have to say on the subject (and I’m not going to tell you to be “realistic,” either.)

Watch the 5-minute video now, and plan to join me tomorrow, Wednesday, Sept. 16, at 1:00 PM for my free online group coaching Mindset Reset Community Call for entrepreneurs. It’s a great opportunity to get coaching from me and support from other entrepreneurs who are busy creating their business one incremental success at a time.

In abundance,

Liz

P.S. If you’ve ever experienced frustration at not creating success at the pace that you want, watch this quick video, and join me on my free Wednesday support call for entrepreneurs!

Would you benefit from being part of a supportive community of entrepreneurs? 

Register for the FREE Entrepreneur Accelerator live group coaching call now.

Happening every other Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST

You don’t “deserve” anything!

Every morning, I listen to guided meditations on a meditation app. I enjoy experimenting with a variety of styles and teachers. Some of them include affirmations and they all start with the same phrase:

“I am worthy.”

As soon as I hear that, I turn it off.

I believe that there is no greater distraction to success than trying to convince yourself that you are worthy or deserving.

People don’t have wealth, success, and abundance because they deserve it. They have it because they have received it.

Take a moment right now and think of someone that you don’t respect or don’t think has talent, but who does have what you consider to be success.

In your opinion, does that person “deserve” their success?

I’m guessing not.

The other problem with this concept of worthiness or deserving is that it’s an “as soon as” conversation. As in: “as soon as I am worthy” or “as soon as I feel deserving” THEN I can have success. So, you focus all your attention convincing yourself that you are worthy, RATHER than just working on expressing your brilliance.

Listen. You don’t have to justify your success based on how much you deserve it or how worthy you are. You are allowed to have as much abundance as you want.

I’m betting that if you are convincing yourself of your worthiness, that same message is also coming through when you are selling your services.

This is one of the common fears of selling which I’ll be covering in my upcoming 5-Day Sales Challenge: the fear that people won’t get value from what you’re selling. After all, if you’re still trying to convince yourself that you are worthy, why would other people believe in your value?

People don’t buy from you because they believe in your worthiness. They buy from you because you provide a solution to their problem.

Join me live daily from August 24 – 28 from 12 – 12:30 PM EST for a 5-Day Sales Challenge where we deconstruct the five most common fears of selling, so you sell with ease and create an abundant business.

See you on the challenge!

Would you benefit from being part of a supportive community of entrepreneurs? 

Register for the FREE Entrepreneur Accelerator live group coaching call now.

Happening every other Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST

What do sheep have to do with sales?

Did you know I grew up on a sheep farm?

Yep, when I was 5 years old, my mother gave up her cushy life as a Pittsburgh suburban housewife, bought 148 acres and started raising sheep.

My sisters and I joke that the greatest benefit we got from being on the farm was that we could use the experience as fodder for our college entrance essays.

However, it wasn’t until way after college, when I started my own business, that I really benefited from the experience.

You see, traditional farming doesn’t bring in very much revenue. So my mother had to create other ways to bring in income. We began to spin yarn from the wool of our sheep, which we sold for a much higher price than we could get for the raw wool.

Eventually we had a full-on cottage industry, selling everything from yarn to sheepskin coats. We were often featured in the local newspapers, and were invited to festivals, where we demonstrated spinning or even shearing live sheep. (Yes, that’s me in the back at age 11).

Because of this, I started selling from a very young age. I learned to talk about the benefits of our products while facing rejection. I experimented with different ways of approaching potential customers. I learned that products have different values depending on the buyer. And I was constantly faced with the fear of failure if we didn’t make enough money.

It was the best training I could have had for being an entrepreneur.

I incorporated those lessons into the coaching I use to help my clients to succeed in selling their services. I’ve determined that there are 5 common fears that get in the way of sales success.

During my live 5-Day Sales Challenge, I’ll break down one of those fears each day and show you how to release it to make selling easier and more natural for you.

The challenge will take place on August 24 – 28, from 12:00 – 12:30 PM EST daily. Each day I’ll give you actions that you can implement right away to see results.

So sign up to participate in my 5-Day Sales Challenge to break free from the fears that stop your business from growing today!

See you at the challenge!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Do you know the secret to sales success?

The number 1 frustration I hear from my clients about why their business isn’t growing is that they don’t have enough sales.

I get it. It’s frustrating to put so much energy into your business and not see results.

So when they ask me “What’s the secret to sales success?” my answer is simple: stop selling.

You might think that’s crazy talk. So let me explain how most entrepreneurs go about “selling.”

First, they do busy work so that they can avoid making sales calls. When they finally psych themselves up to make a call, they’re secretly glad when it goes to voice mail.

Once they do get someone on the phone, they immediately put on their cheery “sales” voice. But while they’re speaking to the prospect, they’re so afraid of being rejected that half of the time they end the call without even making any kind of an offer.

Can you relate?

The thing is, you think “selling” means to get someone to buy something from you.

But selling is really about investigating what their problem is and then helping them to decide whether your product or service is the right solution for them. If it is, the sale comes naturally. If it’s not, or they’re not ready to solve their problem yet, then it’s OK to let it go.

When you take this approach, it relieves the pressure to make a sale, deepens your relationship with your prospects and clients, and ultimately increases your revenue.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

What have you been wanting to do for a long time?

Is there something that you’ve wanted to do for a really long time, but just haven’t gotten done?

For me that “something” is to write a book.

Even as a child, I wanted to be a writer. I penned poems and short stories, and dreamed of someday writing a novel.

When I developed my coaching programs, I visualized putting the concepts into writing so that I could reach a larger audience. I fantasized about being on The Today Show like my friend and ukulele singing partner Jeanne Martinet for her bestselling book The Art of Mingling (which I highly recommend and is on my list of books).

But year after year has gone by, and I just never did it.

I know there are lots of reasons I haven’t followed through. The voices in my head say, “I don’t know how to write a book.” “Who will read it besides my friends and family?” “What if it’s a flop?” “I’m not a real author.” “It’ll take way too much time.” I could go on, but you probably hear the same voices in your head.

Enter short books.

Short books are books that are – you guessed it, short! They don’t require months of writing in solitude or elaborate outlines, publishing houses or publicity tours. They don’t even have to be particularly good.

While I’ve known about short books for a while, I kinda turned my nose up at them, because, ya know, I wanted to be a legit author with a bestselling book. But I’ve finally come to the realization that it’s all a bunch of bull, and what really matters is Writing. A. Book.

So I’ve joined a short book accountability group, and tonight is our first meeting. I’m both excited and nervous about starting. Excited because “I’m doing it!” And nervous because, “What if I don’t do it??”

Having a group for support is one of the best ways you can get past what’s keep you stuck and overwhelmed and propel you into action. That’s why I’ve been hosting my Mindset Reset Community Call every Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST. On the call you’ll get the support from me as a coach as well as a supportive community of like-minded entrepreneurs. So if there’s something that you’ve wanted to get done for a while, join us every Wednesday to get into action.

Hope to see you on the call!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

What’s the real value of goal setting?

Recently, I attended an event for entrepreneurs where the discussion topic was SMART goals.

If you’ve ever done any research on the most effective ways to set goals, you’ve probably heard about this method. SMART stands for “specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time bound.”

There’s no doubt that the SMART structure will help you to set goals that are doable while keeping you focused and accountable. Which is great, if you actually, y’know, DO the goals.

However, all too often my clients come to our coaching calls with incomplete tasks, sometimes week after week. They get discouraged because they don’t see their desired results, and sometimes they even want to give up.

Most people are focused on the results of their goals being the grand prize. I disagree. While of course I want to see people succeed at what they set out to do, there’s a greater value in goal setting that no one talks about.

Watch this quick video about what the real (and hidden) value of setting goals is.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

“Inbox Zero”? Not!

Ever hear about the “Inbox Zero” email philosophy, where by the end of the day you have zero emails in your inbox?

Yeah, that’s not me.

I was up to over 1,500 emails in my work inbox. (Don’t get me started about what’s in my personal inbox.)

The oldest email was from 2010. Yes, I still had emails in my inbox from ten years ago that I told myself I was going to work on.

One of the consistent themes I hear from my coaching clients is how overwhelmed they feel. I can relate: I felt barraged by the daily emails adding to this voluminous pile. So, I would focus on just the top 40 or so and hope that I wasn’t missing anything important. But of course, I did miss stuff all the time.

About 6 months ago, I finally acknowledged that the sheer weight of these incomplete tasks was seriously impacting my productivity, and I resolved to reduce them. Like losing the first 5 lbs. on a diet, I was able to easily eliminate 500.

The next 500 presented more of a challenge. I forced myself to acknowledge whether I actually was going to ever read the articles, follow up with that person, etc. Sometimes the decision was made for me because the links were long gone. And I knew that someone who invited me to a networking event 3 years ago surely didn’t remember me.

The last 500 have proven to be the toughest of all. I noticed my justifications for keeping them: “I do want to work on that, but not yet.” There are also items that I have some guilt about – promises I made to get back to people that I never honored, missed opportunities, or stuff I “should” do but really don’t want to.

Here are my key takeaways from enduring this process:

1. Email is a terrible “to-do list” system. They come in randomly, aren’t organized in any specific way, and linger forever.
2. Email is also a terrible information storage system. It’s silly to save something “I might need someday” if I can’t even find it when that day arrives.
3. Incomplete tasks wear me down, even more than the volume of tasks I have to do.
4. It’s time to stop kidding myself that I’m ever going to read/watch/answer/ follow up on items that are over a year old. And that’s OK!
5. Avoiding something doesn’t make it less painful to deal with later.
6. A reminder that scarcity = holding on, while abundance = letting go

I’m now down to the last 137 emails, and though I’ll likely never get to zero, the restraints of those incomplete tasks have been released, freeing me to be happily productive.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

How to Give and Receive Part: 2

Liz Wolfe is featured on Josh Wilson’s podcast ‘Uncensored Advice for Men’

Giving wholeheartedly and receiving graciously are the 2nd and 3rd keys to creating an abundant business. Listen here

It is a give and receive world. You have as much as you’ve been willing and able to receive. What I want is already on it’s way to me. Say yes more often without strategy and judgement.

Practice receiving with open arms and being grateful.

To hear more interesting content for men visit Josh’s website.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

How to Give and Receive Part: 1

Liz Wolfe is featured on Josh Wilson’s podcast ‘Uncensored Advice for Men’

Giving wholeheartedly and receiving graciously are the 2nd and 3rd keys to creating an abundant business. Listen here

It is a give and receive world. You have as much as you’ve been willing and able to receive. Complete this statement for yourself… “How I receive money is (         )”

Practice receiving with open arms because there is plenty for everyone including me!

To hear more interesting content for men visit Josh’s website.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Why are we so afraid to ask for what we really want?

Are we afraid of rejection or is it rude to ask for what we really want?

Listen in as Liz talks with Josh Wilson on his podcast Uncensored Advice for Men. This episode is about asking for what you want, which is the first key to creating an abundant business. Listen here

Asking for something specifically is the fastest way to get what I want.

To hear more interesting content for men visit Josh’s website.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

That life-altering experience you’re waiting for isn’t coming

I just got back from the doctor. I had noticed swelling under my right arm, and because I had lymphoma in 2007, I take these things very seriously. The earliest appointment I could get was for this morning.

All weekend my thoughts jumped from “It’s going to be fine” to “what if?” I found myself choosing activities based on how much joy it would bring me, because, well, “what if?” I gave my children hugs, relaxed with my husband, and took (almost) the whole day off on Memorial Day.

Other thoughts crept in: about how long I’ve talked about writing a book, but haven’t actually done it yet, and “if” something was really wrong, I might never get the chance to write it; about taking better care of myself by giving up sugar and exercising more consistently; about how I’d give it all up and take that dream trip across the country.

I had all these thoughts in 2007 too.

Back then, did learning that lymphoma could be caused by ingesting pesticides have me buy organic? Nope. Did knowing that stress contributes to illness inspire me to meditate daily? Nope. Did I wholeheartedly cherish myself, mind, body and spirit, and get a whole new lease on life?

Nope again.

So why didn’t this life-altering experience change me? Partly because I was already striving to eat well, exercise, take time for relaxation, and tell my family how much I loved them.

But I still I have certain behaviors that aren’t healthy for me that I want to change. And from my experience, even faced with our mortality (or failure), we still grapple with procrastination, helplessness, and just plain inertia. Case in point – I didn’t start writing my book over the weekend.

Why do we do this?

1. We are remarkably tolerant. We are tolerant, day in and day out, of the most annoying, difficult, unpleasant, and uncomfortable situations in our lives. We are so tolerant that often the situation becomes completely unbearable before we do anything about it.
2. We are stuck in “as soon as” conversations. We think that “as soon as” the economy improves, our kid starts school or we get enough money, things will change. We really believe this, and nothing could be further from the truth.
3. We are committed to being right about our stories. By stories, I mean the circumstances you describe when you talk about why things aren’t going as well as you’d like. There’s no doubt that I could convince you of how “busy” I am to be the reason that I haven’t finished that book yet.

Fortunately, my tests this morning came back clean and my doctor told me there’s nothing to worry about. While that was obviously a relief, it leaves me in a different quandary. Without the imposed urgency of an illness to get me into action, what will?

The answer is simple: choice. What a productive world we would live in if all that it took for us to get something done would be to CHOOSE to do it and then do it, without any change in circumstance, inspiration, or external force. There’d be no time wasted agonizing over tough decisions, telling the same old stories, and regretting that we didn’t act differently back when we had the chance.

But although it is simple, it is not easy. We may not know how to do what we want, or we may be stopped by fear.

As a coach, I am committed to your success. Join me on Wednesdays at 1:00 PM EST for my weekly Mindset Reset Community Call, a free group coaching call for entrepreneurs to support and inspire you. Click here to join. We’ll tackle those burning questions and get you on track to building an abundant business.

See you on the call!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Burglars don’t knock

My husband Jon and daughter Isabel spent this past weekend at our upstate house and Isabel came home with this story:

While watching a movie at about 11:30 Saturday night, they heard a loud sound as though a heavy object had fallen.  They couldn’t find the source of the sound, so they went back to watching the movie.

A few minutes later, they heard a knock at the door.

Our house is located on a remote road where even during the day very few cars pass.  There are no other houses within eyesight, and at night the area is completely devoid of light.

My nephew Matt opened the door and a raspy voice gargled out, “I’m a fireman.” At this point, the others had gathered around the door to see who it was.  Matt asked him, “Is there a fire?” but he only rambled on incoherently until he finally said, “I was in a car crash.  Can I use your phone?”

That’s when my husband stepped out onto the porch. He then left the porch to walk into the darkness with the man.

For 30 minutes, Matt, Isabel and my niece Camille waited while their agitation grew.  Camille and Matt had gotten fire pokers ready to use as a defense, and Isabel was poised to dial 911.  They could see activity at the edge of the property.  Another car came slowly and eerily down the road, the headlights piercing the darkness.  They had no new information about what was going on, and the threat only seemed to increase as more people joined the scene.

Even as she was telling the story, Isabel’s fear was palpable.  I could feel a sense of my own foreboding creeping in.

This is fear in action.

Everything – the darkness, the knock at the door at night, the lack of additional information, and the man’s behavior – all fed into the fear that SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

In fact, the man had crashed his car into a tree, and the other people had come to tow his car back to his house.  He was drunk and hurt, which contributed to his incoherence.  And, he had a tracheotomy, which accounted for the raspy voice.

The fact is, burglars don’t knock. 

 But when fear is present, we don’t look at things logically.  In the absence of information, our minds make stuff up.  And it’s always bad stuff.  And that bad stuff translates into fear.  Fear blows everything out of proportion, because being safe is our number one priority.  It’s survival at its finest.

In my coaching practice, I’ve seen fear stop so many people dead in their tracks.  These are fears of rejection, failure, not being good enough, and even fear of success. Some of these fears have been surfacing during our weekly Mindset Reset Community Call, especially because of the pandemic.

I’ve developed a very simple process for cutting through your fear so that you can get back to taking confident action in your business: 

At the top of a piece of paper, first complete the sentence: What I want to create is…

Then create two columns.  The first column is your fears.  Write down every fear/doubt/negative statement you have related to your desire.  After you’ve completed that list, in the second column, write a positive or rational counter statement to that fear.

As an example, what I want to create is a best selling book.  In my fear column, I would write things like: 1. I’m not a professional writer; 2. I’ve never written a book before; 3. no one will want to read it; 4. I won’t know how to market it.  Then in my rational column, I would write something counter to each fear: 1. That’s what editors are for; 2. Lots of first time authors have success; 3. People are already telling me they want to read it, also millions of books are sold each year; 4. There are professionals who will help you with that.

 This is a great exercise to do with other people, because they can contribute their ideas to you as well.  So if you have any particular area where you aren’t taking action because of a fear, join my Mindset Reset Community Call every Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST.  No need to RSVP, just jump on the call.  We’ll work through those burning questions and get you back into action.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

How to make the right choice for you

Last week I wrote a blog post with tips about ways to stay productive during the coronavirus pandemic. While some people did appreciate that, I also got several responses with links to articles about how we shouldn’t place pressure on ourselves during these troubling and difficult times.

So which one is it? Should we keep forging ahead with working on our businesses, or should we take a more relaxed approach?

Watch this quick video I recorded to hear more about my recommendations on how to best handle this unusual situation.

And then join me tomorrow, Wednesday, April 15, at 1:00 PM EST for my Mindset Reset Community Call – a free Zoom group coaching call specifically geared towards providing support to entrepreneurs during the pandemic.

Barbara Kara of www.efreedomtechniques.com participated last week and said: “I felt so much better after the call…more supported and inspired. With the current situation, we really need to be in community with like-minded people. These Zoom calls fill that need beautifully.”

See you on the call!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

The problem with free time

I had a revelation about time one afternoon when I was chatting with my aunt. She had recently retired, and she was telling me about how she had gained weight since she stopped working. She said that while she enjoyed walking for exercise, she just never seemed to get around to doing it.

Until our conversation, I had bought in to the commonly accepted idea that “if only I had more time, I would (write my book/exercise/learn more about social media marketing/fill in the blank.)” It was my main excuse for my unfinished projects. But in that moment, I realized: how much time I have has nothing to do with whether or not I accomplish anything.

My aunt had all the free time in the world since she had no other responsibilities. And yet, she still never “found” the time to get her walks in.

When I know I have a “free” day, I’m excited about how much I’ll be able to do. But more often than not, I get to the end of the day dissatisfied with how much I got accomplished. It seems that when I have “all day” to work on something, it takes me “all day” just to get around to starting it.

As it turns out, the exact opposite of what we expect is true. The more free time we have, the less we actually get done. Why? Because our motivation actually increases the less time we have available. The pressure of a deadline gets us into action.

Many entrepreneurs are faced with this challenge during this pandemic. The structures that we had in place for our businesses have been changed – we may no longer be able to see clients or projects may have been put on hold. The “free time” we always dreamed of is finally here, and yet we are whittling it away.

So if more available time isn’t the answer to getting things done, what is? It’s the commitment you make to yourself to complete the task. Here are some tips I’ve heard from clients about what’s been working for them to stay on track:

• Create a routine for your day. It sincerely won’t work to wake up in the morning and “wing it”. That huge gap of open space on your calendar could be filled with many things, including washing the dishes, scrolling through FB, reading the news, answering emails… you get the point. It’s been especially helpful to me to have a morning routine a la “The Miracle Morning” (watch author Hal Elrod explain it here.)
• Give yourself deadlines. According to Parkinson’s law, “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” So give yourself half as much time as you think you’ll need to get something done. I guarantee you’ll accomplish more in that short timeframe than you will if the goal is open ended.
• Have an accountability partner. This is one of my roles as a coach, but you can also ask a colleague or friend to hold you accountable for your goals.
• Use a Pomodoro timer. This was recommended by someone on last week’s Zoom group call. The idea is to work for 25 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. You can Google this technique for more information.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Have you been feeling this way?

I’m hosting a free weekly group Zoom call to support our community of entrepreneurs. We meet on Wednesdays at 1:00 PM EST. Jump on the call tomorrow! Details are below.

Last Wednesday we discussed ways to stay productive during this crazy time. It’s a theme I’ve been hearing consistently from my coaching clients, who tell me they feel unfocused. There’s certainly no lack of distractions vying for our attention, from daily press conferences, to videos of how to stay safe when shopping for food, to real concerns about our friends and family who may be sick with the virus.

A few people shared about how they work all day but get to the end of the day feeling like they didn’t get anything done. But that’s not necessarily true. Just because you feel unproductive, doesn’t mean you are unproductive.

I love this chart from Todd Herman, the creator of The 90 Day Year. He talks about how the human brain tricks us into thinking we haven’t made progress when actually we have. On the left he illustrates how if you’re only measuring the gap from where you are to where you want to be, you’ll be in the “chasm of despair,” whereas on the right if you look back to measure how far you’ve come, you’ll be in the “valley of confidence.”

The reality is that no matter how much we do, there’s always going to be more to do. As a general rule, entrepreneurs are a driven bunch who have ambitious plans. When we reach a goal, we rarely rest on our laurels, and instead move on to what’s next.

One tactic you can use is to write down what you do during the day. Then at the end of the day you can review it and see the facts of how much you actually accomplished, not just what you think you accomplished. Don’t discount the “small” actions, which when done consistently will add up to big results.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Need some support during the COVID-19? Join me on a call every Wednesday

Are these crazy times or what? In all my years of business I’ve never experienced anything like it – even having lived through events as severe as 9/11 and Hurricane Sandy.

In just a few short days we’ve seen entire cities shut down (not to mention states and even countries!), and watched while thousands of small businesses and solopreneurs lose opportunities to generate revenue to keep their business afloat.

To make matters more challenging, “social distancing” has left many of us feeling isolated, with even simple day-to-day interactions like buying a cup of coffee at our favorite coffee shop lost to us.

It’s easy in these situations to get caught up in doomsday scenarios and be carried away by our fear of the unknown. I know how important it is to have an abundance mindset to counteract those fears, so I’ve decided to host a free weekly group Zoom call to support our community of entrepreneurs. We’ll meet on Wednesdays at 1:00 PM EST until we can get through this. You can join the call at https://zoom.us/j/6180860750, or by dialing 646-876-9923 and using meeting code 618-086-0750.

And while the situation is certainly serious, there are ways we can leverage this forced slowdown. Here are a few things that you can do:

– Get stuff done. You know those projects you said you would like to do, if only you had the time? Now is the time to get them done. Write that book, update that web page, publish those blog posts, start that podcast, finish that online course… By doing these projects you will feel more empowered and in control. Extra bonus is that when business picks up again (which it will, I assure you!) you’ll have strengthened the structure of your business.

– Handle something you’ve been tolerating. Stand in the middle of your work space and look around. What bugs you? How about those unfiled papers, old business cards, unanswered low priority emails, and other tasks that keep your space and brain cluttered? Every item you check off your stale to-do list will feel like an accomplishment and inspire you to do more.

– Network. I guarantee there are at least 10 people you could reach out to today to check in on and network with. Start with those old business cards. Send an email to reconnect, or better yet, just pick up the phone and call. There’s never going to be a better time to have a conversation and to create relationships with people.

Just because we’re not able to be together in person doesn’t mean we need to isolate ourselves. Luckily technology is on our side and we can use it to connect. Join me on Wednesday’s at 1:00 PM EST so that we can come together to share our concerns and get support. The link to join is https://zoom.us/j/6180860750.

Send me a quick message here to let me know you’ll be joining, and feel free to spread the word to other people who would benefit by participating. I look forward to seeing you on the call!

 

P.S. Whatever your state of mind, remember, you will get through this. It will be easier to get through it together, though, so pop onto the call every week Wednesday, at 1 PM!  https://zoom.us/j/6180860750

What the coronavirus can teach us about abundance

I don’t know about you, but I never even heard the word “coronavirus” in my entire life until this whole situation started blowing up. And as the number of cases climbs every day, so do people’s fears of being quarantined. This has caused thousands of people to rush to stores to buy large amounts of… toilet paper??

I dunno, maybe they use a lot more toilet paper than I do on a daily basis. Or maybe my many years of living in NYC and being able to walk just a block or two to get something I need has mellowed my sense of urgency in times of crisis like blizzards, blackouts, and pandemics. I’ve never been one to “stock up” on things. It even annoys me when my husband, the food shopper in our family, buys more of something we already have just because it’s on sale.

This type of behavior is driven by an age-old perception that abundance works like a pie – there are only so many slices to go around, and so the more someone else has, the less I have.

But that’s not abundance at all – it’s fear-based scarcity thinking disguised as abundance. It then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when hoarding causes the shortages, which perpetuates the fear and the behavior.

The way this pie-based mentality impacts entrepreneurs is by thinking things like, “I have to take on this client even though they’re not a good fit for me because I don’t know when the next one will come along.” Or “There’s too much competition out there so I’d better lower my prices.” The pressure to use such tactics is especially heightened when the news reports say that the economy is taking a hit due to coronavirus fears.

Here’s the real deal. There is an unlimited amount of abundance available to you in the form of money, clients, and opportunities. And even if there were limits, we’ve come nowhere close to reaching whatever those limits are.

As far as household essentials goes, I assure you, you already have enough. And what you don’t have, you can live without for a short period of time. But if you are feeling stuck in a scarcity mindset, or have fears creeping in, then I invite you to set up a call with me. I can help you to uncover where your scarcity mindset is holding you back from creating an abundant business, and what you can do to shift it. I look forward to chatting with you.

 

P.S. I’m sure we’ve got a ways to go before the coronavirus dies down, so in the meantime, take me up on my offer to have a call! There’s no pressure to work with me or join my programs. We’ll simply explore where you feel stuck and how you can create momentum for yourself. Find a time here!

 

Only 8%

8%.

That’s the percentage of people who actually accomplish the goals that they set at the beginning of a new year. Wow. It’s obvious SOMETHING’s not working!

There’s a good chance that you’re part of the 92% who starts out with good intentions but ends up falling short. I know that can be frustrating, especially because you’re working your heart out in your business.

In the 20+ years that I’ve been coaching entrepreneurs (and running my own small business) I have noticed some common pitfalls that people encounter when setting and accomplishing goals. Below is a quick summary of those pitfalls. I have a lot more to say on the topic, so I’m going to discuss these in greater detail during my free masterclass LEAP 2020. Watch the replay here! 

Expecting breakthrough results
Big, life changing, breakthrough results are few and far between. In actuality, the greatest impact will come from the much more numerous smaller accomplishments that come from staying consistent.

Setting goals that rely on discipline and will power
Many entrepreneurs I’ve coached claim that their biggest problem is that they don’t have enough discipline. I’m not buying it! We all have limited willpower. Do you have systems in place that support you when your willpower is low?

Our intended results are too far in the future
It’s been proven that our brains can’t plan for action that’s more than 90 days out. It’s more effective to set nearer term goals that have tasks you can take action on now.

Being inflexible
People change, circumstances change, new ideas come in the middle of the night… It’s OK to reevaluate your goals to decide what’s working and what’s not working, and make adjustments.

Thinking one size fits all
Every person is different, so why do we think one method of setting goals is right for everyone? During the Leap 2020! masterclass, I’ll show you how to create a Personalized Abundance System that works for you.

Not having a coach or accountability partner
Of course I’m going to say this – I am a coach who holds my clients accountable! And guess what – it really works.

We’re already 4 weeks into the new year, and I’m willing to bet that the idealized and optimistic view you had about 2020 has started to wane.

I know – it happens to me too. That’s why I developed a methodology for keeping myself and my clients on track all year long, using that Personalized Abundance System I mentioned above.

I’ll guide you through the process for creating that system on the replay of the LEAP 2020 masterclass. You’ll bust up the old mindsets that weigh you down, so that you can keep on track for success in 2020 and beyond.

Start manifesting the prosperous business and abundant life you’re dreaming of NOW!

Join my FREE 5 Day Abundance Challenge! 

This 5 Day Abundance Challenge will get you on the fast track to creating abundance by

leveraging these powerful tools! Register here

 

Don’t fall for that “best year ever” stuff…

In the last couple weeks, my inbox has been inundated with emails entreating me to have my Best. Year. Ever!!

Instead of inspiring me, these emails stress me out. As my client Megan said, “Why does 2019 have to compete with 2020?” Or any other year, for that matter?

The year I turned 21 was pretty great. That’s the year that I traveled all around the world as a photographer.

The year I got married, and the years when I had each of my two children, were pretty awesome too.

Then there was the year that I started my business, and the year my husband Jon quit his job to join me. There was the year that I hit 6 figures in my business for the first time, and the year that I changed my business model completely to become a transformational coach for entrepreneurs.

I’m not saying I haven’t had my struggles. A person can’t be in business for 25 years (and married for 23) without some significant ups and downs. There was the year I was diagnosed with lymphoma, and the year of 9/11 when the economy had a huge slowdown. There was the year my biggest corporate client was also my biggest pain in the butt.

Yet all those years were also rich with learning and experiences that ended with gratitude.

When we fall into the trap of anticipating that this year will be the “one”, we both denigrate our past successes and set ourselves up for future disappointment if things don’t turn out exactly as we’ve dreamed.

As my sister Jennifer so wisely said, “Let’s go for depth, not distance.”

I’ve got a lot planned for the year and I have a clear intention to have it be fun, creative, and prosperous for everyone I work with.

That’s why I developed a free masterclass called ‘LEAP 2020’, a transformative approach to business planning. 

During the LEAP 2020 training, you’ll build on past successes, leverage what you’ve learned from your breakdowns, and create a personalized path to abundance in your business for 2020. You can register here.

After ten years, this happened…

When my daughter Isabel was four years old, I took her with me to my hairdresser, John, for a “mommy daughter” day – getting haircuts together and a treat on our way home.

Everything was going swimmingly until she got out of the chair. “Mommy,” she whispered to me, with tears in her eyes, “he cut it so short!”  Indeed, he had. It looked completely endearing to me and my hairdresser, but she was mortified.  I realized why she hated it so much when I took her to pre-school on Monday.  Every other girl in the class had long hair.  She cowered in the corner with her hood over her head and no amount of mommy love could console her.

She didn’t cut her hair for another ten years.

By the time she was 14, it was almost to her knees. It was beautiful and flowing, and was the object of much admiration. The only problem was she could never wear it out of a braid because it would become an unruly rat’s nest. Untangling it took nearly an hour in the shower.  When I encouraged her to cut it, she resisted. It bolstered her confidence in herself and was part of her identity in her social scene.

 Then, just after her 15^th birthday, she suddenly announced that she was ready to cut it.  Eagerly, I scheduled John to come to my house (yes, the same man who had cut it all those years ago!) and she invited her friends over. Watching John’s scissors slice through that mane of hair was both terrifying and exhilarating.  He cut off a full 28 inches of hair while her friends’ squeals filled the room.   Afterwards she couldn’t contain her exuberance.  Since then she has radiated joy and confidence in her choice.  She no longer feels defined by that one feature of her looks and she loves the ease that it affords her.

While relieved and grateful that she cut her hair, I’m not surprised that she feels as happy as she does with the result. This aligns with the second step to creating abundance, which is to “Give Wholeheartedly.”  (Click here to watch a short video about all three steps.)

While we often think of “giving” as referring to the giving of gifts, money, time, or even something like business referrals, this type of giving falls in the category of “letting go” or “releasing.” By letting go of her hair, Isabel not only let something go that she was tolerating (taking care of that hair!) but also a long ago hurt.

If you’re feeling stuck at all in your business, take a look around to see what you might be tolerating and ready to let go of. It could be a project that you no longer care about, clients that don’t serve you any more, books you never plan to read, to-do’s you’re never going to do… the list goes on. Don’t let a decision made years ago for reasons you barely remember linger. It can get in your way every day, much like my daughter’s hair when she used the dishwasher. Yes, after she leaned over to put a dish in, her hair would often get caught in the door as she shut it.

We don’t realize how much we are weighed down by extraneous objects, old wounds, regrets, or even future expectations that never get fulfilled. By letting go, you’re opening up space for something new:  new clients who appreciate you, space in your office or home, the ability to focus on what you really want to do.  Once you give away or let go of these items, you’ll experience a surge in your energy and enthusiasm and feel lighter and freer.  I encourage you to get started today.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

The Anti-New Year’s Resolutions: Systems, not Goals (Part 2 of 2)

Part 2 of a 2-part series (click here for part 1 to learn about why New Year’s resolutions don’t work.)

I love that freshly-washed feeling of the turn of a new year.  It could just be that I get more sleep in the 10 days between Christmas and New Year’s when the kids are off from school,  But I seem to have more energy to clear away any unpleasantness I’ve been tolerating. And like many people, I look ahead to the coming year.

Over time, I’ve changed my perspective on how helpful resolutions can be.  I’ve had my own varying degrees of success, and have stopped setting so many “goals.”  Now I focus on intentions or themes for the year.  Last year’s theme was “clarity” and this year’s theme is emerging as “release.”

If intentions and themes are too vague for you, then consider using “systems” rather than “goals.”

I learned about systems when I read cartoonist Scott Adams’ book “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big.”  The book is an insightful and entertaining tale of his trek to success.  (Spoiler alert:  fail until you succeed.)

He says a goal is a “reach-it-and-be-done-with-it situation, a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t” sometime in the future.

Deciding to lose twenty pounds is a goal.

A system is “something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run.”

Deciding to eat healthily is a system.

Adams offers an oh-so-true-for-me description of what it’s like to have goals and why they don’t work: “Goal oriented people exist in a state of continuous pre-success failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out.  Systems people succeed every time they apply their system, in the sense that they did what they intended to do.  The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn.  The systems people are feeling good every time they apply their system.”

A personal example:  Some years ago I got tired of feeling like crap after a night out because I drank too much alcohol. I knew that I could have up to two drinks in a night, enjoy myself, and feel fine the next day.  Yet time after time I would drink two, say “what the hell” and order the third.

Eventually I figured out that if I started my night with a non-alcoholic drink and then alternated from alcoholic to non-alcoholic I could enjoy a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and not feel the desire to drink more.  After reading Adams’ book, I realized that I’d created a system.  Even when I’m a feeling a little indulgent, I can stick to my “every other” routine.

Systems aren’t based on temporary feelings.

Often goals such as “I’m going to lose weight!” come while standing on the scale. You react to a bad feeling about the number.

At that moment, we’re not actually faced with hunger or an offer of homemade cookies from a co-worker.  Later when we are, the sting of the scale has worn off and we can’t remember why it was so important to only eat vegetables all day.  If we again react to our current feelings, we’ll overeat.  Systems bypass the emotional check-in.

Here’s why it works for me. Usually, we  look inward to find flaws that interfere with reaching goals.  Then we put an effort into fixing flaws.  But there’s nothing wrong with us, so fixing ourselves is futile. If I don’t apply the system as I would have liked, I can simply look back and understand that I didn’t apply the system, NOT that I am a loser who can’t ever keep promises to myself.

Even though I know that the “New Year” is a time concept made up by mankind, one tiny blip in the eternity that is our universe, there is something powerful about turning the page.

This year, for each goal or resolution you want to set, think about a system that you can put into place instead. Put those systems into practice and over time you are sure to experience success.

Cheers!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Why your New Year’s resolutions might be doomed to fail (Part 1 of 2)

If you’re a regular at a gym you know that all the equipment is taken from January 1 through mid-February as everyone is working on their new commitment to get healthy. But by the end of February, the gym is back to normal.

Only 8% of people who make NY resolutions actually accomplish them. Why do we so often fail, despite swearing up and down that this is the year we’ll persevere? Here are my top five reasons:

You’re fixing something that’s “wrong” with you.
Any action you take based on feeling bad will be temporary. Saying “I’m fat” may compel you to action today, but if you don’t see results over time, you’ll progress from “I’m fat” to “I’m lazy” and “I’m incompetent.”

There’s nothing wrong with you. What’s true: your actions haven’t aligned with your vision. Instead of choosing to “lose weight,” choose to “be healthy” and follow up with the actions of a healthy person.

You put too much stake in being disciplined.
If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a thousand times: when I ask people why they haven’t achieved their goals they say “I’m not disciplined” or “I’m just lazy.” They go on to wax poetic about how much better their lives would be if they could have more willpower. (Another form of “there’s something wrong with me.”)

Discipline is a RESULT of success, not the cause. When people believe that having discipline is a vital component of achieving every goal, they end up feeling inadequate. (You can read more about my viewpoint about laziness in this free guide about procrastination.) Don’t set up a barrier to success, as in, “I have to be disciplined to be healthy.” Instead, go straight to purposeful action.

You’re missing the big picture.
For the first couple of years after my daughter started school, the mornings in our house invariably ended with a meltdown or argument. I kept hoping that if I got up earlier or prepared better the night before, mornings would go more smoothly. Nothing seemed to help. Our relationship was souring.

I decided to focus on my real goal: stress-free, easy mornings we enjoyed together. I started by controlling my own reactions when she had her meltdowns. This allowed me to be patient, loving, and supportive – precisely what we both needed to create those stress-free mornings. My commitment to our relationship and enjoying that time together created the shift.

You want instant gratification.
If you expect results quickly and they don’t arrive, it’s easy to give up. Don’t discount small progress. It took my family over a year to get to smooth mornings, and we still have the occasional breakdown. When that happens I use it as a wake-up call to give our relationship more attention.

You don’t set yourself up to win.
I get it. The sky is the limit and anything’s possible. But if you haven’t been to the gym in forever, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to suddenly start going 5 x a week for an hour. Or if you have $25,000 in credit card debt, no savings, and no steady income stream, it’s dubious that you’ll pay that all off in a year and save $10,000.

Time after time I’ve seen people strive for something way out of reach, and give up. The question I ask is, “What would be a win for you?” The answer might be “Take a walk at lunchtime three days a week” or “Get a job that I love and pay off $5,000 in debt.”

The success we dream of IS within reach, and you can create it in 2019. My next blog will reveal additional pitfalls and how to overcome them to create consistent, sustainable, breakthrough results all year long.

Attend my upcoming FREE webinar
“Set Yourself Up for Success in 2019!”
January 15, 2019, from 1:00 – 2:00 to learn:

• Why the amount of time, money and resources you have has no impact on what you can accomplish
• The top reasons why most New Year’s resolutions fail, and what to do about them
• How systems – not goals – will ensure your success
• Eight common ways we sabotage our success
• Plus a live Q&A session at the end!

Sign up today!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

3 tips for getting everything you want this holiday season (and in life)

My mother used to tell a story about a Christmas morning early in her marriage to my father.

She had her eye on a certain camelhair coat displayed at a department store. Her anticipation grew as Christmas drew near because a box appeared under the tree that was exactly the right size for the coat. She described how she reserved opening that particular present for last.

Finally, she tore off the paper, opened the box, and… it was a toilet seat cover!

Even telling the story decades later her face would contort in an expression of disappointment and resentment. It was meant as a practical joke by my father, but it fell flat, and he still rues the day he bought it.

Tip #1 – Ask for what you want – specifically!
I can’t say for sure that my mom didn’t ask for that coat directly, but I do know that he didn’t buy it and it didn’t end up under the tree. I’m guessing she had an assumption that he would know what she wanted, and get it for her. The number one mistake we make when we want something is not asking for it specifically!

I get exactly what I want during the holidays. Why? I not only tell my husband what I want, but I find it online and then send a link to him with a note saying “This is what I want.” We both end up happy – me because I got what I wanted, and him because there’s no pressure for him to figure it out on his own, risking disappointment.

Tip #2 – Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want
When I was younger, people often gave me clothes as gifts. It was a perfectly reasonable gift to give, but it really rankled me. I was very particular about what I wore, and I disliked feeling obligated to wear something I didn’t like. I complained about it, saying things like, “I wish people wouldn’t get me clothes.” or “You can get me anything except I don’t want clothes!” Guess what the universe heard over and over? Clothes, clothes, clothes! No wonder people were always getting them for me. As the saying goes, what you resist, persists. Instead, ask for what you DO want!

Tip #3 – To have what you want, want what you have
At a company holiday gift exchange, my husband once received a compact floor heater. I thought that was just about the dopiest gift you could ever give at a company gift exchange. Rather ungraciously, I remember poking fun of it at the time. Guess who ended up using that heater more than anyone else? Yep, me! In fact, I used it so much that I literally burned it out.

Part of experiencing the abundance of having what you want is wanting what you have. As Deepak Chopra said, “We never need to seek abundance. We simply need to notice and open up to what’s already there and allow the bounty of the universe to flow through us.” So be open to receiving what is coming your way. It may not be exactly as you imagined it would be, but if you practice receiving it gratefully and graciously, you might be surprised at how the gift becomes exactly what you want. And if it doesn’t, well, it’s perfectly OK to let it go.

The media bombards us with images of happy children gleefully opening presents on Christmas morning and men standing with blue Tiffany boxes behind their backs beside beautiful and unsuspecting women. These images imply that the joy of giving and receiving is in the surprise. Hogwash, I say.

The greatest joy in getting what you want, is getting what you want.

Getting what you want is as simple as asking for it.  As I always say: the most important thing you can do to begin your journey to abundance is to ask for what you want. To learn how to harness the power of asking, download my free guide “The Power of Asking” today!

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Want to grow your business? Make mistakes.

My daughter came home crying last week.

She recently got her first job, picking up a neighborhood boy once a week from his after school program, taking him to his swim class and then home.

The first two weeks things went very smoothly and I was proud of her. But last week she messed up.  First, she texted me to say that she was “taking a detour” after school and would be late getting home.  As it turned out, she had forgotten when she was supposed to pick him up. She arrived 45 minutes late, and he missed his swim class.   She was supposed to take him to the doctor’s after the swim class. She not only got off at the wrong subway stop, but also walked in the opposite direction from the doctor’s office.  In the end, they had to take a cab, an expense for the Mom.

“I took him the wrong way!  My literal job is to make sure he doesn’t do that!” she exclaimed through her tears.  The tears were mostly of embarrassment, but also from a sense of failure.

How I relate to the embarrassment of screwing up!  As an entrepreneur, it feels like I fail somehow every day.  And every mistake stings.

Recently I emailed someone who had signed up for my 5-Day Abundance Challenge to encourage her to start working on the lessons, only to realize that I had emailed the wrong person.  I have been known to double book appointments, lose track of emails, forget to follow up and even completely blank on whole conversations.  I have overlooked billing a monthly coaching fee, which meant I had to sheepishly call my client and explain that she now owes me for two months.  I’ve made mistakes on emails that go out to thousands of people. The list goes on and on.

Frankly, these screw-ups are for me the hardest part of being an entrepreneur.   I battle with the aspiration to do it all “perfectly,” which just isn’t possible.

After the flow of my daughter’s tears lessened, we talked about what she could do to make things right; specifically, what to say to the Mom and how.

1. First, apologize. Ordinarily, I’m not a big fan of apologizing. I believe we over apologize in life. Many times we don’t really mean “I’m sorry,“ we mean “Please bear with me.“ or “Oops! I didn’t mean to do that.“ or “Pardon me.” Watch yourself for a few days and see how often you apologize for small things that you really don’t need to be sorry for!

There is value, though, in acknowledging to the other person that you realize you made a mistake, and owning up to your part in any bad consequences. Isabel had already said “sorry” quite a few times to the Mom, but I encouraged her to be more specific, saying “I realize I did not live up to my commitment and I am sorry for that.”

2. Offer reparation. In the 25+ years I have been in business as an entrepreneur, I have learned that if someone is unhappy with my service, it’s helpful to offer a way to make up for it. For me, it could be in the form of an extra coaching session or two. About half of the time, the gesture alone is enough to make people happy, and they don’t even take me up on it. In Isabel’s case, I suggested that she let the Mom know that she didn’t have to pay Isabel for the day.

3. Then make a commitment to the future. I tell clients that they need not live forever in the shadow of a “failure”. Forgive yourself and focus on what’s next. I counseled Isabel to say, “You can count on me to be on time moving forward.” This is the most important part because it’s how you rebuild trust. Of course, that trust will stick only if you live up to your words.

I believe that making mistakes is a crucial part of growing your business.  Being an entrepreneur is inherently risky, so if you’re not making mistakes, it means you’re not taking risks.  Every action can seem magnified in importance when your business is on the line. But in all my years of coaching I’ve yet to see a mistake that my client didn’t recover from. Business is remarkably resilient.  Isabel was afraid she’d lose the job. In the end, the Mom stuck with her and insisted on paying her for that day.

Knowing this doesn’t necessarily make it any less stressful.  But if you follow these three steps, you can move past your breakdown, learn from the experience, and continue to express your brilliance.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Wabi-sabi, or how to enjoy a high school graduation

Monday was a major milestone in my family’s life. My son Julian graduated from high school. Like most parents, I felt a variety of emotions, ranging from relief that I’d never again ask “Did you do your homework?” to pride when he unexpectedly received an award for excellence in art.

For reasons that I’ve yet to resolve, I feel anxiety leading up to these events. Will I be able to see the stage clearly? (I usually sit behind the tall guy.) Will I be able to hear everything? (I usually sit next to the person who forgot to turn off her phone.)

Therefore, I arrived very early to get a position at the front of the line of parents waiting to get in, so that I’d have my pick of seats. Instead of assuaging my anxiety, my early arrival just gave me more time to fret over whether I was standing in the correct place or if the group that came in after me would finagle their way in front of me. All the while I agonized: should I sit to the right of the auditorium or the left? Should I sit near the front or in the middle? I asked no fewer than three ushers about the layout of the theatre and even brought up the seat layout on my phone.

I know in these moments that a sense of scarcity is gnawing away in my insides, making unrealistic demands to both figure it all out and do it perfectly. This is impossible. Standing there with my family, who did their best to reassure me, I adapted my own stand for abundance– “there is plenty for everyone, including me”– to state “there are plenty of chairs for everyone, including me.” I was where I was in the line, and I would get the seats I got. When I felt the anxiety rising up, I repeated that to myself until it subsided.

And, as it turned out, there were plenty of chairs for everyone, for not only me but my entire family. Because we were close to the front of the line, in fact, we had our pick. With some relief, I settled in to listen to the event. That relief, however, did not last long. I did sit next to the woman who forgot to turn off her phone – which she answered and then had a whole conversation on through the valedictorian speech.

Historically, I would have spent the entire time distracted by her and a thousand other things that were going on around me. Instead I remembered a conversation I had with my sister earlier that weekend. We spoke of the Japanese concept, “wabi-sabi”, which can be translated as “the acceptance of transience and imperfection.” I had a choice. I could resent every ringing phone and side conversation, tell myself that I should have sat in the aisle seat so I could take photos, and barely hear what was going on, or I could accept that the experience was sure to be imperfect and focus on the parts I wanted to hear. It took some rigor, for sure, but it worked. I was able to block out most distractions and be present to the joy of my son’s graduation.

I’ve got four more years before my daughter Isabel will be graduating high school, giving me time to practice embracing “wabi-sabi” and be a chill Mom. There are certainly ample opportunities in life to do so.

Want to get your ideal seat at a graduation? Get good at asking! When people ask me how to create their ideal futures, I always tell them: the most important thing you can do to begin your transformational journey to abundance is to ask for what you want.

To learn how to harness the power of asking, download my free guide “The Power of Asking”

Money Talks – Get in on the Conversation

A hot topic these days is why the “1%” have accumulated so much wealth.  Perhaps you’ve seen the viral video demonstrating, with impressive graphics and mind-boggling statistics, the chasm between the nation’s wealthiest and the bottom 20 percent.

So how did 1% do so well?  Is it because they greedily and purposely hoard wealth to keep it away from the rest of us?  Are people poor because they are lazy or financially irresponsible, especially when on public assistance?  Does the government unfairly favor the rich and big business?

Here’s my question:  who cares?

How much money they have has nothing to do with how much money you have.  There is an unlimited amount of money available to all of us, and the key is not figuring out why they have more than you do, but rather why you don’t have as much as you want.

Here are some common ideas about money that keep us from creating as much as we want:

#1 –Money is a “thing” or a fixed entity

Money is energy.  Dollar bills and coins are merely symbols of the life energy we exchange and use as a result of the service we provide to the universe and to each other.  Thinking of money as an object restricts our ability to create it freely.  By learning to acknowledge it as energy, you will have unlimited access to it.

#2 –There is a limited supply; if wealthy people have too much, it takes away from my supply.

Back to reason #1.  There can be no limit because money is not a fixed entity.  There is an unlimited supply.  How much someone else has does not affect how much you have now, or will have in the future.  Ever!

People from the poorest and most difficult backgrounds — Steve Jobs and J.K Rowling are two — have found great fiscal success.   The top 1% didn’t stop them.

#3 –Money is directly related to personal worth.

People have the mistaken notion that you have to “deserve” money.  Wealthy people, the argument goes, shouldn’t have so much, because no one “deserves” that kind of money. Who came up with this idea of “deserving” anyway?  To say “all that I deserve” puts a limit on it.  How do you know if you deserve it? Who decides if you deserve it?

Money is neutral.  It doesn’t care if you deserve it or not.  You have as much money as you have created up until now. End of story.

#4 – It is more noble to be poor than rich, and rich people are selfish.

Stories often portray the rich as unfeeling and stingy, and the poor as benevolent and generous.  While true that the working class gives more to charity proportionate to their income than wealthy people, it’s not true that all rich people are selfish. If you fear being pegged as stingy, you might be less inclined to have financial abundance.

#5 – You have to have money to make money. 

Since money is energy, it can be created from nothing.  Don’t believe me?  Try this.  Just ask someone for money,   someone that you know will give it to you. You ask, they give, and you have it.  There!  Created from nothing!

#6 – Money is good – wait, no, it’s bad..

We’re told “Money makes the world go round” yet “money is the root of all evil.”  “Money can’t buy happiness”, but we’re convinced that we’d be happier if we had more of it.  No wonder money seems so perplexing.  We’ve received mixed messages about money that are confusing and incorrect!

#7 – We are not skilled at receiving money. 

Actually, we’re usually not skilled at receiving in general, but money in particular presents challenges for people.  It stems back to reason #3 (we don’t think we deserve it) and reason #4 (if we accept it we’re not good people.)

I have a personal policy – whenever anyone ever offers me money, I take it.  I want the universe to know that I am open to receiving money at any time.  So, I always say yes!

It’s all about perspective

The makers of the video I mentioned above despair at the chasm between the top 1% and the bottom 20%. However, if we took the bottom 20% of the US demographic and compared just that portion to the demographics of most “developing” nations, it would likely fall in, if not the top 1% then at least the top 10 or 20% of a graph of all those nations.

Think of it this way.  First, put yourself somewhere on this scale:

Affluent
Prosperous
Managing
Struggling
Impoverished
Destitute

Most “middle class” people put themselves somewhere around “managing” or “struggling”. Now, think about the photo of that child that UNICEF sends out when soliciting donations – the one that hasn’t eaten for a month and has a distended stomach and two parents with AIDS. Compare yourself and your situation to that child, and place yourself on the scale. Compared to that child, you’re affluent.

Back to my original point.  How much the 1% has, while certainly unbalanced, is irrelevant to how much money I have the OPPORTUNITY to create.  For that, we’re all on equal footing.

Money inspires endless intrigue and debate.  We spend countless hours trying to figure out how to make more money, and then how to keep the money we have or make it grow – and too often we feel we have failed.

The irony is that all of us can tap into an unlimited amount of money. Does that sound crazy, unrealistic, pie-in-the-sky? The reasons money feels out of reach  are not what you think.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Go for the bronze

Last weekend, I felt completely humiliated at church.

On that Sunday, we were planning a special service honoring women. However, during choir rehearsal, we had too many pieces to run through, and I never got to rehearse my solo, “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy, intended to be the culminating moment.

I know that rehearsal makes all the difference, but there simply wasn’t time, and I sure wasn’t going to back out. I approached the microphone with great trepidation. Long story short, it fell flat.  Literally, flat.

I sat down next to my husband, red-faced.  He said something to me and I stared blankly at him.  All I could reply was, “I’m not listening to you right now; I’m too humiliated.” After years of singing at church, both in the choir and as a soloist, I felt I had gone from respected musician to complete failure.

After the service, my singing partner Jeanne came over. I explained that we hadn’t rehearsed. She gave me a hug and then said, “There is something to be said for the person who puts ego and fears aside and says, ‘I’ll do my best.’ That in and of itself is a success.”

It took me a couple days to get over the sting of the experience, but it got me thinking: What is success, really?

We are conditioned by our culture to define “success” as big wins and major accomplishments. Because of that, we are averse to taking risks, especially when we’re not confident. But is success only when you get a standing ovation after a gold medal performance?  Maybe success can be going on stage and singing your heart out, even if you go off tune. Maybe success is doing your best with the resources you have.  Maybe success is having an experience that you wouldn’t have had otherwise had you not taken that risk.

I applaud Olympic snowboarders Shaun White, Red Gerard, and Chloe Kim for their spectacular gold medals. And I’m inspired by Pita Toufatofua, the Tongan taekwondo-turned-cross-country-skier who only got to ski on real snow for the first time 90 days ago.  His big accomplishment?  Not coming in dead last.

Sometimes we go all out and shine. Sometimes we don’t try hard and do well. And sometimes success is just showing up.

#redefinesuccess

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work (Part 1 of 2)

If you’re a regular at a gym you know that all the equipment is taken from January 1 through mid-February as everyone is working on their new commitment to get healthy. But by the end of February, the gym is back to normal.

Only 8% of people who make NY resolutions actually accomplish them. Why do we so often fail, despite swearing up and down that this is the year we’ll persevere?

• You’re fixing something that’s “wrong” with you.
  Any action you take based on feeling bad will be temporary. Saying “I’m fat” may compel you to action today, but if you don’t see results over time, you’ll progress from “I’m fat” to “I’m lazy” and “I’m incompetent.”There’s nothing wrong with you. What’s true: your actions haven’t aligned with your vision. Instead of choosing to “lose weight,” choose to “be healthy” and follow up with the actions of a healthy person.
• You put too much stake in being disciplined.
  If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a thousand times: when I ask people why they haven’t achieved their goals they say “I’m not disciplined” or “I’m just lazy.” They go on to wax poetic about how much better their lives would be if they could have more willpower. (Another form of “there’s something wrong with me.”)Discipline is a RESULT of success, not the cause. When people believe that having discipline is a vital component of achieving every goal, they end up feeling inadequate. (You can read more about my viewpoint about laziness in this free guide http://lizwolfecoaching.com/resources/breaking-procastination/ about procrastination.) Don’t set up a barrier to success, as in, “I have to be disciplined to be healthy.” Instead, go straight to purposeful action.
• You’re missing the big picture.
  For the first couple of years after my daughter started school, the mornings in our house invariably ended with a meltdown or argument. I kept hoping that if I got up earlier or prepared better the night before, mornings would go more smoothly. Nothing seemed to help. Our relationship was souring.I decided to focus on my real goal: stress-free, easy mornings we enjoyed together. I started by controlling my own reactions when she had her meltdowns. This allowed me to be patient, loving, and supportive – precisely what we both needed to create those stress-free mornings. My commitment to our relationship and enjoying that time together created the shift.
• You want instant gratification.
  If you expect results quickly and they don’t arrive, it’s easy to give up. Don’t discount small progress. It took my family over a year to get to smooth mornings, and we still have the occasional breakdown. When that happens I use it as a wakeup call to give our relationship more attention.
• You don’t set yourself up to win.
  I get it. The sky is the limit and anything’s possible. But if you haven’t been to the gym in forever, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to suddenly start going 5 x a week for an hour. Or if you have $25,000 in credit card debt, no savings, and no steady income stream, it’s dubious that you’ll pay that all off in a year and save $10,000.Time after time I’ve seen people strive for something way out of reach, and give up. The question I ask is, “What would be a win for you?” The answer might be “Take a walk at lunchtime three days a week” or “Get a job that I love and pay off $5,000 in debt.”

The success we dream of IS within reach, and you can create it in 2018. My next blog will reveal additional pitfalls and how to overcome them to create consistent, sustainable, breakthrough results all year long.

 Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

I just assumed I would be 40 and divorced

Happy Anniversary to me!  That’s right, I’ve been married to my husband Jon for 21 years as of last week.  That’s a pretty big accomplishment in and of itself, but given my family history, it’s even more astonishing.

My parents divorced when I was just 10 years old.  Not only that, but every other adult female in my mother’s family was divorced.  I grew up surrounded by women who were “done wrong” in some way or another by a man.

I had no role models for relationship.  My mother outright told me, “You can’t trust men.”  (Actually, she said “You can’t trust SHORT men.”  My dad is about 5’6”.)

When I imagined what my life would be like when I was in my 40s, I literally pictured myself as a divorced single mom.  I simply didn’t know how to maintain a long term, loving relationship.  Therefore, I didn’t think it was even possible.  The framework I lived in was “you can’t trust men” and I brought that idea with me to every relationship.  No surprises that the men I attracted were, you guessed it, untrustworthy.

Then in my late 20s I participated in an exercise during a workshop that explored trust.  We did a mingle where we went up other participants and said either “I trust you”, “I don’t trust you”, or “I don’t know if I trust you.”  After the exercise the trainer asked us a series of questions.  One of them was, “How many of you said “I don’t trust you” to all the men?”  My hand shot up in the air.  I must have attracted his attention with my enthusiasm because he looked right at me and said, “Is that true?  You can’t trust all men?”

That was the moment when I realized that as long as I believed that men were not trustworthy like it was the “truth” I was destined for a failed marriage.  Challenging that belief and then eventually shifting it to “Men are trustworthy and available to me” paved the way for me to create a relationship with Jon.

That was just the tip of the iceberg in understanding just how many beliefs I had that were limiting me in my life.  In my business, ideas such as “The only way to succeed is to work day and night” and “You have to know someone to get a break” and “Being successful requires discipline and I’m not disciplined” created hidden barriers that all but stopped me.  Only by challenging each one was I able to create a successful business (which by the way, I started with my husband the year we were married!)

Sometimes our beliefs become so hardened and “real” to us that it is difficult to see it any other way.  If you become aware of a belief that is limiting you, you can begin to shift it by asking the simple question “Is this true?” Most times you’ll be able to see that the answer is no.  If you’re not sure of the answer or it still feels true to you, look around for evidence that defies your belief.  By seeking it out, you’ll loosen the hold that the belief has on you.  In my case, I looked for couples that were happy in their marriage and had been together a long time.  Once I started looking, I found a lot more of them than I expected.

I know that people usually don’t pay much attention to anniversaries unless they’re a “big” one, but I celebrate each year that I’m married as a miracle.  Shout out to my husband Jon for being on the journey with me and being that trustworthy man who showed up at the right time.

Have you ever wondered about your own strengths and weaknesses as the “CEO” of your business? I’ve created a quiz that can help you gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth. It’s a fun way to reflect on your skills and discover opportunities for development. Take the quiz and unlock your CEO potential today! Click here to take the quiz.

When bad things happen to good entrepreneurs

I left my laptop on a NYC subway. Yep, I was taking my daughter to a dance camp in Brooklyn and I left the computer bag on the D train.

The crazy part was that I didn’t even notice until a full hour later, after I had gotten her settled in to camp. As I was leaving I realized my bag wasn’t on my shoulder.  I was convinced I had left it somewhere at the dance studio, but a thorough search proved otherwise.

I cried the whole way home on the subway.

Three quick tips on creating a powerful vision (plus a song!)

Would you ever get into your car and start to drive without a destination in mind?  Imagine taking random turns left and right, going down roads not knowing where they will lead, sometimes pressing on the gas and sometimes on the brake depending on what the road is like or what gets in your way.  You’d end up goodness knows where and probably feel lost and aimless.

That’s exactly what you’re doing with your life when you don’t have a clear vision to guide your actions and goals.  In this video I discuss three tips on creating a powerful vision.  Listen in, sing along, and go to my website to sign up to receive information about future events!

 

The Anti-New Year’s Resolutions: Systems, not Goals

Part 2 of a 2-part series (click here for part 1 to learn about why New Year’s resolutions don’t work.)

I love that freshly-washed feeling of the turn of a new year. It could just be the fact that I get more sleep in the 10 days between Christmas and New Year’s because the kids are off from school, but I seem to have more energy and impetus to clear away things I’ve been tolerating, and similar to many people take the opportunity to look ahead to what’s next.

For the past couple of years I’ve hosted a webinar entitled “New Year’s Resolutions: Friend or Foe?” (see below for details on this year’s webinar).  It’s designed to support people in taking action in the new year in a way that aligns with their vision.  Over the years, I’ve changed my perspective on how helpful resolutions can be.  I’ve had my own varying degrees of success, and have stopped setting so many “goals” and instead focus on intentions or themes for the year.  Last year’s theme was “relationship” and this year’s theme is emerging as “consistency.”

But what if you just plain want to get some stuff accomplished?

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

Part 1 of a 2-part series.  Click here for part 2.

Around the beginning of the year people feel a renewed commitment towards their goals because it feels like a fresh start. We are encouraged to let go of the old and embrace the new by making New Year’s resolutions.  This is why if you’re a regular at a gym you know that there is never any equipment available from January 1 through mid-February – everyone is working on their new commitment to get healthy.  However, by the end of February the gym is back to normal, with the regulars making the rounds.

Studies show that only 8% of people who make New Year’s resolutions actually accomplish them, despite swearing up and down that this is the year that they will stick with it. What goes wrong? Here are some reasons why resolutions so often fail.

Good Morning America

Hi everyone – this morning I did my first ever live broadcast on FB singing a song with my ukulele. It’s always a little nerve-racking to put myself “out there,” but it’s worth it, and gets a little easier each time too. How can you put yourself “out there” today? Let me know in the comments!!

The current economic and political climate has people feeling worried, stressed, and uncertain. Join me on my next free live webinar “Three Keys to a Richer Life” to learn about these three keys will put you in control of your own destiny.  Create the lifestyle, career, and relationships you dream of.  Webinar is on Tuesday, Nov. 22, from 7:30 – 9:00 PM.  Register at tinyurl.com/threekeyswebinar. 

 

Why this election day is the most important day of my life.

Last night as I was prodding Isabel to go to bed I said, “C’mon, let’s get to sleep. Tomorrow is the most important day of my adult life and I want to be rested.” She gave me a look that only a tweenager could and said, doubtfully, “More important than the day you and dad got married?”

It took me a moment to process what she had said. Then I realized

Are you solving problems you don’t have?

Did you know that a major obstacle keeping people from achieving their goals is that they spend their mental energy on solving problems they don’t even have?  I call this “The Governor of Kentucky syndrome”, as illustrated by a personal story I heard from Marilyn Graman, a Psychotherapist, Workshop Creator and Leader, Author, Interfaith Minister, and Shaman Practitioner in New York City:

Two women ate lunch together in a small Kentucky town after not having seen each other for some time.

Grandmothers swatting flies

I’m trying to get some work done here. Really I am.  And this damn fly just won’t leave me alone.  There’s a whole huge screened-in back porch here, and he just won’t stop flying next to me, literally, right in my face.

I don’t want to or have to kill him. I mean, I could.  It’s a skill that I learned from my father, how to kill flies by clapping your hands just above where they are going to fly, unsuspecting, upwards.  I can get them almost every time.

Are there alligators in your way?

Last month I went to a stimulating business conference in Orlando.  Surprisingly, the most memorable learning experience for me came out of a nature walk I took on the hotel grounds.

I discovered the hotel had a nature trail on its extensive grounds when I first arrived.  Getting to the path seemed straightforward enough on the hotel’s map, so I decided to walk it the next morning as a way to start my day.  I imagined that I would get fresh air and exercise while enjoying nature and becoming grounded.  With this clear vision in mind, I ventured out into the chilly Florida morning.

3 tips for getting everything you want this holiday season (and in life)

My mother used to tell a story about a Christmas morning early in her marriage to my father.  She had her eye on a certain camelhair coat displayed at a department store.  Her anticipation grew as Christmas drew near because a box appeared under the tree that was exactly the right size for the coat.  She described how she reserved opening that particular present for last. Finally, she tore off the paper, opened the box, and… it was a toilet seat cover! Even telling the story decades later her face would contort in an expression of disappointment and resentment.  It was meant as a practical joke by my father, but it fell flat, and he still rues the day he bought it.

Who cares if they don’t like my singing?

Recently I threw my husband a 50th birthday party and when it came time to sing Happy Birthday I was encouraged to say a few words. I laughed and said, “I’ll bet you never imagined growing up that the word “ukulele” would figure so prominently in your life!”

Then again, I never imagined that either, until three years ago when I picked it up for the first time. Now playing the ukulele has become an almost daily occurrence. I regularly go busking in Central Park as part of the duo Ukulicious and played at the Morgan Library last spring with my bluegrass group the Westside Irregulars (a paid gig!). And now I’m broadcasting “Your Guide to Love, Life, and the Ukulele” on Periscope, saying a few words on a theme of the day and

Lambs in the basement: a winter flashback

A hot cup of coffee.   Crispy, almost burnt toast.  An uncomfortable sense that I’m already behind in my day.  The only thing missing in this flashback to my childhood is the sound of bleating lambs coming from the basement, awaiting their breakfast.  I half expect my mother to turn the corner into the room, berating me for still lingering at the table instead of mixing up their vanilla-smelling milk concoction, made from powered Real Imitation Milk.

The Anti-New Year’s Resolution: Systems, not Goals

I love that freshly-washed feeling of the turn of a new year.  It could just be the fact that I get more sleep in the 10 days between Christmas and New Year’s because the kids are off from school, but I seem to have more energy and impetus to clear away things I’ve been tolerating, and similar to many people take the opportunity to look ahead to what’s next.

A post-election-day-candy-bar conundrum

I woke up yesterday angry at America. Angry at the world! And angry at my kids. Someone ate the Reese’s peanut butter cup right off my dresser, the one that I’d been saving, the one, truth be told, I took without asking right out of my son’s Halloween candy stash. Found the wrappers in the trash can, right within view, no hiding that. When confronted, neither my son nor daughter admitted to having eaten it. Could my husband, who is out of town, have eaten it? Nope, he texts me. Back to the kids. My son did his “I’m lying but pretending not to be” shrug, twice, and I shrugged it right back at him. He also claimed to have completed all his homework on Election Day – back to that in a minute – on his day off. Nope. Lying again. I looked straight at him and said, “I don’t understand why saying you didn’t eat a candy bar that I know you ate is worth defending.” At no point, however, did I admit that I had taken it right from the stash strewn over his floor. So that technically it was his. I was waiting for him to admit it first. Which being 13 he was not likely to do.

A Father’s Day fastwrite – The Good Life

“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” Clarence Budington Kelland

I saw this quote posted on Facebook on Father’s day.  It reminded me of my father right away.  He is a simple man, low maintenance, you might say, never wanted much more for himself or for us than to be happy, whatever that looked like.  Although he did do some telling us how to live, actually, but the advice was always stemming from his love and care for us.

How resilient are you in the face of breakdown?

At the beginning of my seminars I ask attendees to share what they want to create as a result of participating. People say things like, “get a new job” or “find my soul mate” or “earn more money,” “get healthy” or “lose weight.” What I find interesting is that for the most part the things they want to create are already within their reach.   Take the topic of being healthy for instance. Everyone knows how to lose weight, right? Eat less, exercise more. But if it were that straightforward (I won’t say easy) wouldn’t everyone be healthy?

Playing to win, or playing not to lose?

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am an Olympics fanatic.  While my TV usually sits silent, every two years it comes alive nightly for 16 days, confusing my otherwise school-night-electronics-deprived children.  I can’t remember what I used to do with my evening hours as I sit glued to the screen; dishes go undone, homework hopefully gets completed on its own, and I walk bleary-eyed to bed way past my usual bedtime.

Just the facts, ma’am

Growing up on the farm, my family was often featured in local newspapers.  Evidently it was considered quite a novelty to be a single mother with three daughters raising sheep in the midst of cattle country in Western Pennsylvania.  The articles would recount my mother’s decision to abandon city life to raise her children in the country. They would go on to describe how she started with a mere three sheep that over time swelled to 300, and the development of the cottage industry of wool and sheepskin items that we made and sold.  Each retelling had its own angle and an accompanying cheesy headline like “Sheep Farming Shear Delight for Mother and Daughters” and “The Wolfes in Sheep’s Clothing” (get it?). There was one thing they all had in common however; they always got something wrong.  It never failed that we were misquoted in some way, statistics were jumbled, or the article didn’t quite capture our true essence.

The Anti-New Year’s Resolution: Systems, not Goals.

I ended 2013 uncharacteristically grumpy. I felt on the brink of tears or anger for much of the last couple of weeks of the year, without really being able to identify why. I found it depressing to look back at the year, knowing I didn’t accomplish all I wanted to, finding small solace in the few milestones that I could recollect. I’m not quite sure where I think I should be by now, but my feeling of dissatisfaction lingered and made me an unpleasant person to be around.

The Curse of the Airfare

I don’t know when time started to speed up, but in the past few years I’ve noticed that once school begins in September, the events start coming fast and furious.  Just as we finally get settled into a routine for school, it’s time to start thinking about what costumes my kids want to wear for Halloween.  And if Halloween is here, well then Thanksgiving and Christmas can’t be far behind.

How to really change your life. Yes, really.

In 2007 I was diagnosed with lymphoma.  In that moment when I heard the doctor say “You have a malignant, aggressive cancer” I felt as though my whole beingness collapsed in upon itself.  The coming weeks were filled with tears, visits to doctors, and a tremendous sense of fear until the day I heard my oncologist say:  “You will be cured.”  As it turned out, he was right, and six years later I am as healthy as I was before I got diagnosed.

Does a bear care?

Last week, while my sister and I were having breakfast at my country house, a bear walked across my lawn.  The movement in the bushes initially caught my eye, and at first I thought it was a deer.  Then it stepped boldly and assuredly onto the open lawn, where it traipsed along seemingly without concern towards the woods on the other side.  “Oh my God!” I breathed to Ruth Anne, “That’s a bear!”  I jumped up and grabbed my camera, pulling off the lens cap and dropping it all in one motion.  As the lens cap hit the wooden floor with a “chink,” the bear, which was at least 100 feet away, looked up in our direction.  Yikes!  Then, deciding he was in no immediate danger, he continued on his journey towards the woods.  With a racing heart, I took a series of photos from the relative safety of our screened in porch.

Who is your inner visionary?

When you think about your vision, do you think about what your life will look like in the future?  Do you envision big houses, fancy cars, leisure time, committed relationships?  Perhaps it’s a bestselling book, notoriety in a professional field, or a bank account constantly flowing with money that swims in your imagination.  If your idea of your future is more low key, do you see yourself sitting around drinking coffee with your family and laughing?  Going to school or learning to do something you always wanted to do?

Money Talks. Are you listening?

A hot topic in the news these days is why the “1%” have such a disproportionately large amount of accumulated wealth in comparison to other 99%.  Perhaps you’ve seen the video that went viral (almost 7 million views to date) that demonstrates this with impressive graphics and mind-boggling statistics.

The bus before mine is leaving

My daughter had a “publishing” party at her school recently, and so, instead of driving her as I usually do, we took public transportation.  This consists of hopping on the subway near our house, and then getting off at 110^th street to catch a bus across the top of the park.  As we emerge from the subway station, there is a tense moment where we scan the traffic circle between the two bus stops to see if a bus is coming.  If one is stopped at the light, we have just enough time to run from the stairwell to catch it. If the light has already turned green, it’s quite a hustle to make it there in time, but there are usually enough people waiting at the stop or also running alongside us to hold the bus.

Just Do It?

An old friend and her husband have a six year old son who was diagnosed with “moderate to severe” ADHD.   Recently I was sharing with them my experience with my own children’s development.  We commiserated over the notion that as far as attention spans are concerned, they can always seem to find the will to focus on something that they want to be doing, but if their interest isn’t already piqued, then they won’t stay motivated enough to complete a task.

The Consequences of Prosperity

Years ago in New York, it was common to see people handing out flyers in the subway.   En route to work each morning, I would often see one particular group who offered commuters bright orange flyers.  The evangelists would scatter themselves along the corridors in groups of twos and threes, such that I would have to weave in between them to avoid their outstretched hands. I had my approach down to a science – a slightly lowered gaze, tightly gripped purse, along with a short, terse shake of the head – to indicate that I was not interested.  Still, the next person down the line would insistently shove the paper toward me, forcing me to repeat the same gesture until I was out of the minefield.

What makes a “good” school?

I have a friend whose daughter goes to a competitive middle school on the UWS.  Since her daughter and my son are in the same grade, we sometimes commiserate about our experiences with our children, school and homework.  Yesterday she came to me especially frustrated by her daughter, who has ADHD, and their homework situation.  She had no way of knowing what the homework was because her daughter doesn’t know, and my friend is not allowed to email the teachers to ask – in fact she doesn’t even have access to their email addresses.

Capris or flood pants?

When I anticipated motherhood, I only pictured two phases of their childhood – baby through Kindergarten, and when they were off to college.  Somehow I never visualized the gangly stage that my son is in during his 7^th grade year.  While he doesn’t seem to eat very much, he’s still growing at a rapid rate, and has almost reached my height.

To Thine Own Self Be True

I have two older sisters – two brilliant, creative, beautiful, expressive and overshadowing older sisters.  As the youngest, I came up behind them in school and had many of the same teachers.  I endured them calling on me in class by “Jennifer” and “Ruth Anne” or being constantly compared to their talents, their schoolwork, and their grades.

This impacted my upbringing so much that for my college admissions essay I wrote about an interaction that my friend had:

One day, a friend of mine told me a story about having gone to see the school nurse.  This particular nurse is the type who knows almost all the students and loves to talk.  During the time Mary was in the office, she mentioned that she was friends with one of the “Wolfe Girls.”  The nurse was delighted.  She said, “Oh, yes!  Ruth Anne is so wonderful.  She’s so talented and smart and is a wonderful actress.  And she dances so well!”

Is That a Leader or a Follower?

Thinking back to my youth, I can definitively say that 7^th grade was the worst ever.  I attended a small town “junior high school” that consisted of just 7^th and 8^th grade.  The main form of entertainment at recess for my group of friends was to stand in the far corner of a blacktop lot and smoke cigarettes.  I don’t ever remember a single teacher coming over to check on us or to break it up. In fact, the space where we stood was clearly visible from the school and anyone could easily see the billows of smoke rising above us.  I remember being much more concerned about how I was being accepted in social circles than I ever was about getting good grades, since that was, if not “uncool”, at least not cool.

Even in the Face of Evidence (Lessons Learned from Sheep Farming)

Growing up, my father, two sisters, and I took many road trips to visit relatives for summer vacations.  I remember spending long hours in the car reading, singing, playing or just looking out the window as the cornfields went by.  Because of these fond memories, I looked forward to having children of my own, packing up, and hitting the road on some adventures.

One husband and two children later, I have had a few fun road trips with them, though they don’t quite look as I imagined them to be.  For one thing, while my children are avid readers, they expect that on a trip of any length that they will be watching DVDs.  As a result, not a lot of scenery watching happens.  Also, it occurs to me that perhaps they are not quite as enamored with the journey as the ultimate destination.

New Year’s Resolutions: Friend or Foe?

When I was a child, we had a family friend who we would often visit on Saturdays.  They had a wonderful big old house, and being scholarly types, had bookshelves full of books.  There weren’t many there that were kid friendly, but one day I came upon a hardbound collection of Wonder Woman comics.  I would spend hours poring over the stories of this amazing and heroic woman.  In later years, when Lynda Carter starred as Wonder Woman in a TV series, I felt like I knew her personally.

Sweet Success: Carrying on a Family Tradition

There’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of getting something done that I’ve wanted to do for a long time.  Like many people, I’ve been leveraging the impetus of the New Year to rearrange some items in my life, in particular purchasing a treadmill for under my desk and rearranging furniture in my office.  I love the fresh feel of seeing my world in a new way.