The worst four-letter word

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If you’ve hung around me for any length of time, you know that I am no stranger to cursing.

In fact, one of my favorite stories to share about my son Julian is when he was 4 years old.  He got up out of bed, looked out the window, and then said, “Sh*t. It’s raining.”  The apple clearly does not fall far from the tree.

And while I do use many four-letter words freely, there is one that I really can’t stand.

The word “just.”

I hear this word constantly with my coaching clients when they are describing breakdowns.  They’ll say, “I just need to… (get more organized/follow up/do what I said/be more disciplined/etc.).  “Just” makes it sound so easy, like any dope could be doing that.

But if you could be doing it, wouldn’t you be doing it?

The other way we use “just” is to belittle ourselves, especially in front of other people. Listen in to anyone speaking in group settings and you’ll hear it constantly. After talking for a few minutes, people will say, “I just wanted to share that.” Or “That’s just my opinion.”

Their message is clear: “I shared something with you that I care about, but in case YOU don’t care about it, you can ignore it.”  As the listener, I’m now wondering, “Geez, I really liked what that person had to say. But maybe it wasn’t that great.”

What happens when we remove the word “just” as a qualifier for our actions and communication? We’re left with empty space. And that’s a good thing.

In the case of actions, we can now ask a question, “If it weren’t so simple as “just” doing something, what’s holding me back?”

In the case of communication, the empty space can be filled with a simple “Thanks for listening,” or “I’m complete.” And then stop talking!

It takes awareness to notice and vigilance to stop. If you take on this practice, I promise your communication will land powerfully, and you’ll be better positioned to figure out what’s really in your way.

Let me know how it goes.

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Author: Liz Wolfe

Liz Wolfe is a business coach, author, and speaker who coaches entrepreneurs to get unstuck so that they can launch and grow an abundant business. For more than 20 years she has empowered people with her three-part coaching system starting with a clear vision coupled with purposeful Action, and removing hidden barriers to get breakthrough results for her clients. Liz got her entrepreneurial start growing up on a sheep farm in Western Pennsylvania with her mother and two sisters. They built a cottage industry making and selling woolen items, which helped Liz develop her public speaking and selling skills. Later she moved to NYC, where she used those skills to create a successful computer consulting business with her husband, Jon. Eventually she transitioned out of the technology business to apply her experience in a more interpersonal context, helping business owners to develop an abundance mindset. Liz says that one of her greatest accomplishments is staying married to her husband for 25 years while running a business with him. They have two wonderful children. Always eager to get in front of a crowd, Liz also plays the ukulele and is half of the singing duo Ukulicious.

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